Watching Big Brother — the Original Televised Panopticonic Pabulum — is a seasonal ritual and last night, the show debuted season 12 on CBS at 8pm and during three hours of live feed on Showtime 2 at Midnight. The SHO2 feed started with an obnoxious bang as Andrew — “The Alleged Orthodox Podiatrist Jew” who claims to be kosher and observant and who says he cannot work from Sundown Friday to sundown Saturday — made a pure fool of himself.
Less than five seconds into the show last night, Andrew decided to give Annie a “pap smear” on live television. Here are my DVR screenshots of the unbelievable event and I left the timeline active so you can better follow how fast it all happened.
Andrew, yarmulke and all, are now muff diving between Annie’s legs. She didn’t know if she should laugh or be offended because it all unwrapped around her in less than sixty seconds.
As Andrew creeps up her thighs, she decides she’s had enough, and pushes his head away from her crotch.
Andrew doesn’t withdraw fast enough for her, so Annie sort of shove/punches his head to back him off.
Offended, Annie gasps.
Delighted and self-satisfied, Andrew laughs.
Showtime changes the camera angle to give us a wider view of the other houseguests watching, dumfounded by what just transpired, as Andrew grabs the yarmulke falling from his head.
Andrew’s yarmulke doesn’t want to stay on his head — who can blame it? — and he has to re-pin it to keep it in place while continuing to grin at Annie.
Annie immediately reenacts what happened for the others who missed what Andrew did.
She stabs her finger, like an icepick, into his imaginary head.
Andrew then leaps up from the couch and runs in a circle around the backyard repeatedly yelling, “Mazel Tov! Mazel Tov! Mazel Tov!”
Between “Mazel Tovs” — Andrew flashes the “V for Victory” sign as he runs back to the couch.
Are you offended by Andrew’s actions less than a minute into the first live feeds from the Big Brother house?
Is Andrew really Jewish? Is he even a podiatrist? Some online fans claim Andrew is really an actor and a television producer and that he’s also the unknown saboteur as Julie Chen explains in this YouTube Clip:
Let’s say Andrew is not Jewish and he doesn’t have a daughter and he isn’t a podiatrist — what is he thinking giving Annie a pretend pap smear on live television? What sort of person does that for real or in pretending?
If all of Andrew is a lie — why make him an an “Observant and Orthodox Jew?” as part of the ruse?
If Andrew really is kosher and observant — what is he doing on a television show like Big Brother and overtly denigrating his religion in public? Everybody in the house already hates him because of his inappropriate behavior — and Andrew’s grating personality has made him the first Big Brother Houseguest in the history of the show to be properly despised and deservedly outcast from the start.