Watching Big Brother — the Original Televised Panopticonic Pabulum — is a seasonal ritual and last night, the show debuted season 12 on CBS at 8pm and during three hours of live feed on Showtime 2 at Midnight.  The SHO2 feed started with an obnoxious bang as Andrew — “The Alleged Orthodox Podiatrist Jew” who claims to be kosher and observant and who says he cannot work from Sundown Friday to sundown Saturday — made a pure fool of himself.

Less than five seconds into the show last night, Andrew decided to give Annie a “pap smear” on live television.  Here are my DVR screenshots of the unbelievable event and I left the timeline active so you can better follow how fast it all happened.

Andrew, yarmulke and all, are now muff diving between Annie’s legs.  She didn’t know if she should laugh or be offended because it all unwrapped around her in less than sixty seconds.

As Andrew creeps up her thighs, she decides she’s had enough, and pushes his head away from her crotch.

Andrew doesn’t withdraw fast enough for her, so Annie sort of shove/punches his head to back him off.

Offended, Annie gasps.

Delighted and self-satisfied, Andrew laughs.

Showtime changes the camera angle to give us a wider view of the other houseguests watching, dumfounded by what just transpired, as Andrew grabs the yarmulke falling from his head.

Andrew’s yarmulke doesn’t want to stay on his head — who can blame it? — and he has to re-pin it to keep it in place while continuing to grin at Annie.

Annie immediately reenacts what happened for the others who missed what Andrew did.

She stabs her finger, like an icepick, into his imaginary head.

Andrew then leaps up from the couch and runs in a circle around the backyard repeatedly yelling, “Mazel Tov!  Mazel Tov!  Mazel Tov!”

Between “Mazel Tovs” — Andrew flashes the “V for Victory” sign as he runs back to the couch.

Are you offended by Andrew’s actions less than a minute into the first live feeds from the Big Brother house?

Is Andrew really Jewish?  Is he even a podiatrist?  Some online fans claim Andrew is really an actor and a television producer and that he’s also the unknown saboteur as Julie Chen explains in this YouTube Clip:

Let’s say Andrew is not Jewish and he doesn’t have a daughter and he isn’t a podiatrist — what is he thinking giving Annie a pretend pap smear on live television?  What sort of person does that for real or in pretending?

If all of Andrew is a lie — why make him an an “Observant and Orthodox Jew?” as part of the ruse?

Big Brother executive producer Allison Grodner is Jewish — and the show has had “Jewish Problems” in the past — so why fake having a kosher Jew on Big Brother?  What’s the point and the proper payoff?

If Andrew really is kosher and observant — what is he doing on a television show like Big Brother and overtly denigrating his religion in public?  Everybody in the house already hates him because of his inappropriate behavior — and Andrew’s grating personality has made him the first Big Brother Houseguest in the history of the show to be properly despised and deservedly outcast from the start.

16 Comments

  1. Andrew is the classic chillul Hashem — if he is even Jewish to begin with. A chillul Hashem is the disgrace of G-d’s name and in this case he is doing in front of who knows how many people. People are watching and thinking, this is how Jews behave?? I guess I won’t be tuning in after all. 🙁

        1. I’ll be delighted to see what you think, Gordon! Do you have Showtime 2?

          Real.com also has a Superpass live feed of the Big Brother house.

          It’s fascinating to watch it all unfold in real time.

  2. Followup : what he said makes no sense whatsoever. Mazel tov? You say mazel tov when someone has had some kind of a great thing happen, like they just got married or had children — not got their crotch attacked.

    1. Gordon —

      In context, he was “Mazel Tovving” himself — congratulating himself, I guess — for being so funny and such a “playa” for giving Annie that pelvic examination. Remember, he thought he was being funny and brilliant. He really still doesn’t understand that what he did was just gross even after many of the other houseguests tried to clue him in afterward. He doesn’t seem to care how he comes off.

      So, the women hate him and the Alpha Males won’t have anything to do with him because he’s weak and expendable — and so he’s an outcast and the convenient and “easy” vote out of the house at the next opportunity. Unfortunately, since he agreed to be a hotdog mascot during the wiener contest this week, he’s immune from eviction at the next vote.

      Oh, and when Andrew first walked into the Big Brother house — we saw it at 8pm last night — he danced around in circles in the living room shouting, “Mazel Tov! Mazel Tov! Mazel Tov!” over and over again out loud in the same dance he did live last night. I guess he was congratulating himself then, too.

        1. It is insane, Gordon. It’s funny that so many of the fans, and even Janna — hate Annie more than Andrew — just based on personality and interaction with the other houseguests. I strangely don’t have strong feelings of love or hate for any of the houseguests yet. That’s rare. Maybe I’m maturing. Or maybe I just don’t care anymore after 12 seasons. Ha!

          Ummm… don’t a lot of people drink or eat something and sort of congratulate themselves in that insane way you describe? I have a friend who does that even after taking a drink of a Coke. “So good!” — he says — after every sip and swallow.

  3. UPDATE:

    Andrew apologized to Annie last night for his bad pap smear joke. She accepted his apology. Now we’ll see if she stops bashing him about it or not.

    When thing like that happen — Andrew apologizing out of the blue — that’s the magical, and smart, hand of the Big Brother producers at work behind-the-scenes. Good on them for making Andrew apologize to her. That public apology needed to happen.

    1. It also seems Andrew “had the talk” with the rest of the house yesterday concerning his religious observation. He’d previously only told one person — which seemed like a mis-scheme. Letting everyone know, and answering all their questions, gets him respect and earns him understanding.

  4. While Andrew may not be religious, he is DEFINITELY Jewish. I am Jewish and he is a Jew, 100% sure of it. I know my tribe!. Trust me, you cannot spontaneously act the way he does, nor would know that the inappropriateness is quite common in our culture.

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