There’s nothing quite so disturbing as posting an update on Facebook and then having a guy with a fake name try to take you on by defending — or “understanding,” as he put it — why a parent would strike a child because of stress.  I said then, and I say now, “I do not, and will never, understand why any parent would raise a hand to any child.”  I’m not being dramatic or presumptive.  I’m being factual.

It all started when I posted a link I posted to my article — How Home Foreclosures Trickle Down into Child Abuse — and the guy with the fake name put a comment on that update.  At first, I thought he was agreeing with me, but it turned out he was really defending the abuser, as you can see in the message stream:

In case you can’t read the conversation on Facebook, or if are having trouble viewing the  screenshot of the comments thread, here is the last set of call and response:

ME: I will never understand why a parent would abuse a child. You didn’t answer if you understand Jerry Sandusky or not. If yes, why? If not, why not? What’s the difference in your mind — if there is one.

FAKE NAME GUY: You shifted your ground. The initial context was, as I recall, one-off physical attack, not ongoing maltreatment, which I cannot comprehend, unless the parent is mentally damaged.. I do not know what happened to Sandusky so I have ot say I do nto understand.

ME: I haven’t shifted anything. You’re trying to hide behind a single condition that you believe is non-condemnable and I am calling you out on your immoral duplicity. Either you “understand” the abuser of a child in all conditions and examples or you do not — you cannot claim one niche without encompassing everything else that comes with the cover. If you “understand” why a parent would abuse their child because they lost their house, then I certainly believe you would also “understand” the abuse of a child at the hands of a man like Jerry Sandusky. There’s no wiggle room. You either understand or you do not. You have made it clear you “understand” the abuser. I do not understand the abuser in any condition or circumstance.

I don’t know why I was surprised by this conversation.  There are millions of people in the world, and if everyone behaved as they should, and actually believed in what they say they stand for, we wouldn’t have Batman killings, or pretend lynchings of Black schoolchildren, or people with fake names trying to troll you on Facebook.


  1. I think perhaps this person meant “understand” to mean that the why of these abusers seemed clear to him, and he was condemning them for using this excuse. Maybe I’m misreading him. Silly fake namers.

        1. I submit this in rebuttal, Gordon!

          What names are allowed on Facebook?

          Facebook is a community where people use their real identities. We require everyone to provide their real names, so you always know who you’re connecting with.

          Names can’t include:

          Symbols, numbers, or unusual capitalization or punctuation

          Characters from multiple languages

          Professional, religious, or military titles

          Words, phrases, or nicknames in place of a middle name

          Offensive or suggestive content of any kind

          Other things to keep in mind:

          The name you use should be your real name as it would be listed on your credit card, student ID, etc.

          Nicknames can be used as a first or middle name if they’re a variation of your real first or last name (like Bob instead of Robert)

          You can also list another name on your account (ex: maiden name, nickname, or professional name), by adding an alternate name to your profile (timeline)

          Only one person’s name should be listed on the account – profiles (timelines) are for individual use only

          Pretending to be anything or anyone is not allowed

          1. I think Facebook enforces the rule if a fake name become an issue. I discovered today when you block someone on Facebook, one of the reasons you can provide to the Facebook support team is — “Fake Name” — and then they’ll take care of it.

  2. I am glad to see Facebook requires real names. I’m not sure how much that is enforced.

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