God realized he had a PR problem.

Satan was more popular and more powerful — and He didn’t know why.

Oh, the empirical evidence was everywhere and in every dell and along every peaked street.

The world was in trouble, but God had a belief problem.

Some liked Him.

Some didn’t.

Should He punish the Believers and and save the Unrepentant?

Or was it better to reward the Faithful and anger the Pagan?

God realized that, ever since the New Testament, His vanity in the world had diminished — and so He decided to make a change for the good by becoming more like His old badass self — and so He decided to taketh back His power from Satan and taketh full credit for putting fear back into the world with more guns and additional shootings and more weather uprisings… all attuned with trembling and fear of eternal damnation… He hoped.

“The end is nigh,” God sighed, “and I hope I’m still around to see how it all ends.”


    1. I was raised on “The New God,” Gordon — as a young, God-disbelieving, Methodist in the middle of Nebraska. I believe our Bibles were paperback only and were titled, “Good News for Modern Man.”

      1. As was I, however, they’ve still got it all wrong.
        The “new god” (I didn’t mistype) isn’t the G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

          1. What a truthful question! There isn’t. However the current mindset of most discount the most unchangeable parts of the the Living G-d, and demote Him to the status that Gordon has so readily pointed out.

  1. It’s like telling your potential acquaintances that you are lackadaisical, don’t worry about details, couldn’t give a fig about reading and gathering information. Have I described you? or someone else?

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