Private ASL Tutoring via Online Chat

Janna and I are pleased to announce a couple of new features added to our American Sign Language learning portal.

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Is it Rape or a Rectal Exam?

If you bump your head and are taken to the emergency room for eight stitches — would you expect a rectal exam to be part of the diagnosis process?

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Your iPhone Essay Exam

Welcome to the Brave New iPhone World! To celebrate this semiotic change in memes and thinking, we are offering you the opportunity to opine with us — in essay form — on the role of technology changing the terms of our living. Are you tired of the iPhone coverage yet? Are you getting an iPhone today? If not, what’s wrong with you? If yes, what is your plan to get your hands on one?

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The New York Black Street Slang Exam

Welcome to the Go Inside New York Black Street Slang Exam!

Before the politically correct police bust us — brand us racist bigots — and toss us to the thought cops… let me explain why I’m posting this “Exam” here.

I’m posting it because I failed it. Everyone I know failed it. I am a woman from Council Bluffs, Iowa and my parents are Irish and German: You can’t get Whiter or more Wonder Bread than that! (Some of my friends tease me that you can’t get any more “Redneck” than that!)

This test is a fascinating lesson in the culture of a language and a language as a culture. Don’t think of this exam as a “test” think of it more as an “examination.”

Most agree that all cultures must better understand each other. That spirit of understanding is what will drive me here in this article. I’ll try to help shed some light on the varied aspects of as many cultures as I can possibly find to share with you.

The exam is not an assault upon New York. I’d love to post a Los Angeles version of this exam or a Redmond, Washington version or a Lincoln, Nebraska version if they exist! Let me know if you have any thoughts on the matter.

This exam originally appeared on The Howard Stern Radio Show and it was quite real and not a joke. I can’t stand Howard or his show, but I can’t let my personal feelings bother this issue.

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