Is Britney Spears Worth $15m a Year?

News broke this morning that Britney Spears is ready to sign on to the X Factor as a judge and sitting next to Simon Cowell.  She will reportedly be paid $15 million for her services:

Britney Spears appears close to bumping knees with Simon Cowell as a judge on Fox’ “The X Factor” — and getting $15 million to do it.

Speculation swirled Wednesday that Spears was “thisclose” or closer to a deal to join the Fox program, which would be a major step in her ongoing career rehabilitation.

If a deal is done, she’d fill one of the two seats left open after Cowell cut loose judges Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger after the first season.

Continue reading → Is Britney Spears Worth $15m a Year?

Lindsay Lohan Tells Us to F-Off!

When Lindsay Lohan appeared in open court this week with “F*ck U” written on the middle fingernail facing the judge sentencing her, we all heaved a sign of remorse that the young woman will never understand how to properly live by the common rules of society, or respect the mores and laws constructed to collectively protect us from the aberrant individual other like her.

Continue reading → Lindsay Lohan Tells Us to F-Off!

Ellen on Idol?

The depressing news that Ellen DeGeneres has been hired to weigh down American Idol as the new fourth judge is the only proof we need that the show is cooked, done and over and a satire unto itself.

Continue reading → Ellen on Idol?

Loving Judge Judy

I am in love with Judge Judy.

She is smart, tough, funny, compassionate, and she can read a phony from a mile away and tells them she knows they’re a fake right to their face.

Judge Judy has many television judge imitators but none of them have ever touched her intellect or fun factor.

One of my favorite Judge Judy events happens when someone fumbles to answer a simple question by uttering, “Um…” as a response and she immediately snaps at them and says, “‘Um’ is not an answer!” I am also quite fond of her philosophy, “If it doesn’t make sense, it isn’t true.”

As we grow older and win more experience, our gut guides us to truths we know are hidden by layers of deception.

If we begin to think more like Judge Judy — What you’re telling me doesn’t make sense, so it isn’t true — I think we’d be in a better place in our neighborhoods and together in our standing as a nation.

Continue reading → Loving Judge Judy

The Judge's Decision

by Marshall Jamison

He was a tall man, proud, and at seventy-eight
The Judge, his eyes steel blue, held a steady gaze
As he looked down at me, he stood ramrod straight.
Without raising his voice he revealed my fate. To me,
It seemed a fair if severe one, at the age of eight.
My crime? The third grade teacher had reported to my
Mother my one day’s absence from his class. There,
When riding my new bike to school, I had eyed
In the rippling water under the river bridge, a truly enormous bass.
And as I told the Judge, the chance for such a
Magnificent catch drove all thoughts of proceeding to class to pass.
The Judge, who was himself a fisherman of note,
Had often taken me on the Delaware River in his old rowboat
So to the river I raced for my gear, pole, and bait.
After a long careful casting, an interminable wait,
The allure of my lures spelled that big bass’ fate.
My own, the judge decided would rest on my reply
To his wish for a piece of that magnificent, glorious fish to cook!
So supplied, with a grin, my grandfather let me
off the hook.