I am in love with Judge Judy.

She is smart, tough, funny, compassionate, and she can read a phony from a mile away and tells them she knows they’re a fake right to their face.

Judge Judy has many television judge imitators but none of them have ever touched her intellect or fun factor.

One of my favorite Judge Judy events happens when someone fumbles to answer a simple question by uttering, “Um…” as a response and she immediately snaps at them and says, “‘Um’ is not an answer!” I am also quite fond of her philosophy, “If it doesn’t make sense, it isn’t true.”

As we grow older and win more experience, our gut guides us to truths we know are hidden by layers of deception.

If we begin to think more like Judge Judy — What you’re telling me doesn’t make sense, so it isn’t true — I think we’d be in a better place in our neighborhoods and together in our standing as a nation.

Now, if something doesn’t make sense, that doesn’t mean we have to yell or confront people like Judge Judy does — she’s protected by a camera and videotape, while we must fend for ourselves in our lively wilds — but that doesn’t mean we can’t use her advice and intuition to guide down the right decision-making path.

I would love to see Bush, Rumsfeld, Rove, Cheney and Rice in Judge Judy’s courtroom. In less than half an hour she will have whittled down their lies to the bony truth and flayed them with their own words in the process. Perhaps Judge Judy as President as well as Judge Judy as Judge and Jury is just what this country needs to snap us out of our perpetual somnambulism.


  1. Hi David,
    I’ve only seen Judge Judy a couple of times, but she is indeed a feisty gal!
    My favorite is Judge Mathis because he doesn’t put up with any nonsense in his courtroom, either. He can also spot a lier a mile away. He’s quick to seize on prejudices and makes no bones about prejudice prejudicing his decisions.
    He is good friends with a retired judge in my city, Judge Walter Williams– not to be confused with the syndicated columnist of the same name. Judge Williams was very unorthodox in his sentencing. He heard many cases involving young people who were on the wrong track and he would often sentence them to getting their GED or something productive in the community. For this, he fell under much criticism which I never understood.

  2. I have watched Judge Mathis before. He’s very good.
    Judge Joe Brown is a little too cranky for my taste.
    People Court hasn’t been the same since Wapner left. Judge Judy’s husband proved he’s no Judge Judy. 😀 The current Judge is condescending in her sometimes-use of Spanish and calling males in the room “sweetheart” and “honey.”
    There are a couple of court shows that are pale imitations of Judge Judy. I saw a new one with a bright blond Judge — she came off coarse and humorless in her Judge Judy imitation.

  3. Hi David,
    I agree about the judge on People’s Court. I’ve seen that show a couple of times and was not impressed.
    Also, I don’t like Judge Hatchett. She seems to be a very nice and sincere judge, but I don’t care for shows where every other one is a paternity case. Exceedingly boring. First they have to parade the “dirty laundry” of the individuals out and then it’s all a buildup to the DNA test results. Too me it’s very cheesy. If I’m going to watch that kind of stuff, I would sooner watch a soap opera.

  4. Donna —
    Yes, the People’s Court judge thinks she’s so funny and cute but she really only boils and irritates those who are seeking justice by watching the show.
    Judge Hatchett is another non-favorite of mine. Her voice and intonation are not pleasant and I find it hard to listen to her. You’re right that she gives over her power to DNA results and not the strength of her judicial mind. Maury does DNA results better. 😀

  5. You really should look for Judge Judy, Katha! She’s unforgettable! She stood on the family court in Brooklyn for years and was incredibly famous for her blunt attitude and rough justice. Then TV gobbled her up. I think she’s paid something like $14 million a year for her TV show. She’s worth every penny.
    Judging Amy is a TV drama show. All invented. All pre-written.
    Tyne Daly is great. Did you ever watch her on Cagney and Lacey?

  6. Hi David,
    If it doesn’t make sense, it isn’t true is a good filter to judge what someone might be telling you.
    Most people aren’t good at lying. They’ll tell you what they want you to believe, but if they are confronted with some probing questions, it will quickly become apparent that they aren’t being veracious.

  7. Chris!
    I agree the easiest way to live a life is just to tell the truth. Don’t make things up. Don’t tell people what you think they want to hear. Just speak the plain truth.
    Judge Judy is pretty good at humbling the liar opposition — in the eBay scammer link I provided above, the defendant is totally unbowed and defiant and she pays for it in the end.

  8. David!
    i just saw a bunch of videos of the judge judy show on youtube and it’s hilarious!
    tell me if i’m getting this right.
    there are just too many of these small-time litigations floating around.
    somebody comes up with a show that solicits these cases.
    they offer to settle the litigant’s damages themselves if they can just get the defendant to appear along with them on the show.
    and then let judge judy rip into the ‘case’ for the benefit of the camera.
    the litigants are happy to appear because their claims get settled without question. the defendants are more than happy to appear because they don’t have to pay for the claim OR appear in a real court of law. and all anybody has to do is appear on the show and play by its rules! everybody wins!

  9. Yes, Dananjay, that’s it!
    These judge shows are really arbitrations. So each side agrees to be arbitrated on TV but even the side that loses can make some money.
    Let’s say the shows start with a $5,000.00 USD pot of money for the case.
    The winner gets a $2,000.00 judgment.
    The rest of the $3,000.00 pot is then split between the parties.
    So the winner gets $3,500.00 and the loser gets $1,500.00.
    In a real life small claims court the loser gets nothing so there’s a grand incentive to go on TV and risk humiliation.
    That is… unless you totally misbehave and the judge gives the whole $5,000.00 to one person. Then you end up with nothing but humiliation if you lose.

  10. and there is something to be said about the demographics of the guests. there seems to be a pattern. or is it just what ends up on youtube? 🙂

  11. Dananjay —
    Yes, I don’t think that angry fellow you linked understood the show at all. He was paid just how I indicated would happen.
    You Tube is skewed to the young. I’ve seen all ages fairly represented on her show.

  12. Dananjay —
    Exactly! If you go into her courtroom and are honest and you answer her questions she’ll be incredibly fair to you even if you’re wrong. But lie to her… and she’ll eat you up!

  13. David!
    I know I’m a couple of days late but I could not resist posting on your fine article!
    I just love Judge Judy and always have. She is smart and aggressive and if you’re not she will eat you for breakfast! All of the other judge shows pretty much suck. The worst, by far, is Texas Justice.
    And, I have to agree, paternity tests on Maury are the best! That is all I watched when I was at home with pneumonia. Good stuff!

  14. Emily —
    Oof. Texas Justice is a giant stinker. Is it still on the air?
    Is Maury or Jerry Springer worse for the human soul? I think Maury is because he’s so purposefully lowbrow while Jerry knowing mocks his own show as a piece of… silliness.

  15. David,
    I saw that Texas Justice was still alive and unwell when I was home with pneumonia a few weeks ago. All the codeine-enriched cough syrup in the world could not sedate me enough to watch that!
    Oh, Maury is worse all the way! He parades those guests around like he’s doing them a favor and sucks up to them like he really feels for them. Jerry knows his show is a craptastic trashfest and treats it as such.

  16. Oh, ugh! Who’s watching Texas Justice — other than codeine addicts?
    Yes, Maury is, I believe, evil in what he does in exploiting people.
    Jerry Springer knows who he is and what he does and I have much more respect for him as a performer and a person. He isn’t fake. He doesn’t pretend to be something he is not.

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