Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon announced the names of their twins the other day, and the tasteless names perfectly match the obnoxiousness of their parents. Wouldn’t you be a proud child to know your naked father manhandled your mother’s bare breasts in the pages of a public newspaper while you were still in utero?
Continue reading → Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Name their Moron Twins
I was born in a time when being a child from a “broken family” meant your mother and father were divorced and you were irretrievably marked in the marketplace of social commerce as damaged goods. Today, there’s slightly less stigma of being from a broken family — because there are so many more of them now — but that broken label is still hard to shake even if you never let it directly affect you.
Continue reading → Broken Families and Half-Brothers and Whole-Sisters
We know the danger of Celebrity Twinning — and the latest rumor is Mariah Carey and her unfortunate husband, Nick Cannon, have also gone the misbegotten twins route — but there is another fame-frenzy station that is setting the new standard for crazy and, once again, our beloved Mariah and Nick are at the creamy center of Celebrity Marriage Vow Renewal: The Re-Wed Retread. Mariah and Nick get remarried each year because they are clearly insecure with each other and, in the ultimate public rebuke that only adults should marry, Nick gave Mariah her very own jewel-encrusted baby pacifier as an anniversary/re-tread gift this year. Nick Cannon’s public infantilization of his baby mama is simply spew-inspiring in a really ugly, and unfunny, way.
Continue reading → Celebrity Marriage Vow Renewal: The Re-Wed Retread
You must be logged in to post a comment.