It’s that time of the year again to announce a whole new “Boles Book for…” learning precis: a Boles Book for Noisy Neighbors by David Boles and published by David Boles Books Writing & Publishing! Yes, there’s finally an official guide for dealing with those living around you who care nothing about peace and silence!
We have reviewed a lot of guitar strings on Boles Blues — all in the search for just the right tone and ringing sound. Today, I am delighted to share with you a gargantuan find in my quest for strings satisfaction: Classic Ernie Ball Rock N Roll Super Slinky custom gauge strings with a pure nickel wrap.
Jimmy is the 62-year-old handyman of our building — though he always calls himself “manager.” You never want to be caught in the same hallway with Jimmy or you’ll be stuck there for at least an hour getting regaled with stories that teeter between fact and fiction and balance on fantasy.
The first thing you think when you see Jimmy is, “Run the other way!” Last week, I was caught with no means of escape in the basement of our building. This is my story of Jimmy spinning the world.
Today’s modern sporting events reflect the most seductive part of live performance: Creating Dramatic Tension — and the buildup to the annual Super Bowl celebration is one of the finest examples of spectacle in performance wrapped in football pads and held tight with crossed fingers. The countdown clocks on NFL.com today directly inherit, and reflect, the innate sense of doom and pending explosion that so many modern dramas lack on the live stage.
Our building manager Jose decided the building, and all our apartments, will be “more secure” if he changes all the locks from Rightside Up to Upside Down.
I discovered this insanity, this madness, this curse of the Upside Down Lock — now means we have to turn all our keys upside down so the teeth face downward in order to fit into the building locks. After a lifetime of living “teeth up” when it comes to inserting keys,
I have to admit the only person who is frustrated by this new Attack of the Locks is me and not “crooks and burglars” as Jose claims. Jose also thinks using upside down locks puts “less torsion” on the key and it “makes your wrist feel better” after turning keys The Right Way all day long.
Has anyone else been exposed to this New Key Madness? Or is this just another one of Jose’s bright ideas that results in making the entire building darkly miserable? Did I miss the memo on new lock theories?
Yesterday I wrote a lengthy review about my new Cingular/at&t BlackBerry 8700c phone/PDA/slicer-dicer/messagemonster. I also decided to kill my current unlucky phone number because an opportunity of great passion and magnitude was unwittingly offered to me by the Amazon.com/Cingular/at&t/RIM/BlackBerry cabal that I could not refuse.
In my Lucky Lucky Number article I learned, to my great dismay, that my cellular phone number was UNlucky because it held four 4s and if you know anything about Chinese numerology, a 4 = Death. I have not ordered Chinese food from that guy since I learned he was mocking my “Lucky Lucky” number and not being genuine.
I love kidding around as long as I’m in on the cultural joke! So my phone number was Death x Four and even if you don’t believe in that kind of number energy, once you are made aware that dialing your phone number equals dialing death for some people, you begin to ponder the grander gestures of living where a phone number doesn’t have to kill someone when it is dialed.
Enter the cabal! When you sign up for cellular service with a new carrier you are assigned a new phone number even if you plan to use your existing phone number. Your newly assigned phone number becomes the Service Set Identifier (SSID) for the phone because when you use an old cellular number on a new service that phone number still belongs to say, Verizon, even though you’re on say, Sprint.