On Winning the 1975 Pinewood Derby

If you’re a Cub Scout, there’s a yearly reckoning waiting for you — the Pinewood Derby — where you get to build your own race car out of wood and plastic and nails and race it down a track to see how fast your mind and hands are in the creation of something separate and spectacular that you cannot control. You build it and let it run away from you.  I had some success with the Pinewood Derby, as I share here:

As a Cub Scout in Lincoln, Nebraska David Boles entered, and won the Pinewood Derby. In 1973, igniting the fighting Fireball #8, he came in second place. In 1974, riding The Phantom, he did not place, likely due to the air-sucking quality of the jaw-like bat mouth. In 1975 — flying the Spirit of ’76 — he won First Place as the Grand Champion, even though race officials drilled out an ounce of golden lead weight from his undercarriage! Here are the requisite beauty shots of those historic racing fascinations.

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Elissa Reilly Slater Wins Big Brother 15!

Elissa Reilly Slater was evicted from the Big Brother 15 house last night, effectively ending her chance to win half a million dollars, but she kept her morality and dignity intact and that, to me, is more precious than Big Brother blood money, and as far as I’m concerned the real, true, and only winner of BB15 is Elissa even though the show runs for another two weeks.

From the start of the show, Elissa was marked.  Her horrible sister Rachel was a previous winner, and professional whiner, and there are few Rachel Reilly fans in the Big Brother world.  Elissa was tagged by the other houseguests as being favored by the producers — and she was, just because of her shared bloodline with a previous winner — and it didn’t help that Elissa, a doppelgänger of her sister, denied being Rachel’s sister when asked.  A lie from the clean start can never really take you to the dirty end in victory.

That said, Elissa, a premier athlete of a Yoga instructor, bided her time and played the game as well as she could all alone.  She tried to make alliances.  She wanted to team up.  Nobody would have her.  Nobody listened to her insight or wisdom.  She was written off as a sibling airhead by everyone in the house — even her supposed “friend” Helen — who dictated to Elissa without ever hearing her.

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Ashley Rodriguez Wins American Idol 9

I confess to being a whore for American Idol.  I have watched the show every year and every year it gets worse and worse.  The pinnacle of its awfulness is now Ellen DeGeneres — who wouldn’t know funny if it ran up and bit her on the ear — but I digress.  If you’re an Idol fan like me, you know the show is never about finding the best singer.  American Idol is all about packaging a face and a body that can sell records — and that’s why I am telling you this year’s obvious winner of American Idol 9 is Ashley Rodriguez.

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Russell Hantz is the Real Sole Survivor

Last night Survivor: Samoa wrapped up season 19 of the reality series and, woe to us all, our favorite survivor, Russell Hantz was not voted the winner.  We generally enjoy watching Survivor, but when we spend an entire season rooting for the best player in the history of the game, and then waste three hours watching him lose to pettiness and burnt feelings, we want to turn off the television and never watch the show again.

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