by I stumbled across a blog this morning — WelfareMum.com — where a woman was crying about how poor she was and how she couldn’t clothe her kids and how her welfare check would barely cover her bills in December.
She was using her blog to beg money from her readers and a couple even
offered to send her a few dollars.
I wanted to tell her to close down
her blog and get a job to get off welfare and provide for her family.
Would you use your blog to ask people to send you money because you’re
too lazy to work?
I’ve never seen someon outright asking for money, but there is a blog that I’ve started visiting recently where the woman’s brother-in-law has been diagnosed with leukemia and they’re looking for marrow donors. After a couple of weeks talking about the situation and her husband’s tests to see if he was a match, she did put up a Paypal donation button.
She seems genuine. She’s a stay-at-home mom, I think, and her husband does work. Her brother-in-law, however, has not been able to work.
And if all that isn’t sad enough, she’s pregnant and the doctors have discovered that her baby (due next month) has serious heart defects that will require surgery the minute he’s born.
It’s all really tragic.
Carla! —
The example you mention is fair and touching and I support that kind of human networking. It can be incredibly powerful.
Here’s what I found this morning surfing on BlogExplosion:
http://www.welfaremum.com/?p=137
I didn’t realize the name of her blog is “Welfare Mum” — well that explains it, eh? — you panhandle from your blog instead of from a street corner.
It’s the new business model for blogging. Finally people will make money from their blogs.
Heh! I think you’re right, AdjunctX. Can you spare me a fiver?
Yes I’ve seen websites like that and I want to tell them the same thing you want to which is get your ass out of the house to get a job. But you know my first question would be who the hell paid for you to have a computer or did the welfare person use their welfare money to buy a computer and then beg for the money on a blog?
Now with the website you provided, they obviously #1 paid for their domain name and #2 have paid for a hosting service somewhere too. So who paid for those as well?
People who really need the welfare are probably not getting it because deadbeats are sucking it all dry. If your physically able to work then a person shouldn’t be eligible for welfare in my opinion.
Now some people have a legitimate cause like Carla states and one that I’ve donated to was to Wampi (cat that got thrown off a 4 story building out of spite).
Right on, hterry!
The woman did pay to register “WelfareMum.com” and her web host is HostDime.com in Orlando and their cheapest web hosting plan is $6 a month, so that’s money right there that could be going into her children’s mouths instead of feeding her web space.
She can write. She can design. She knows how to register a domain and find hosting. She has figured how to use the student loan system and the welfare system and the kindness of others to her best advantage. It pains me to see people falling for her blog begging. She is completely capable of taking care of her own without us.
I agree there are many examples of those in desperate need of temporary welfare who need help getting a foot up and out and who do not want to make it a way of life — but places like WelfareMum.com ruin that opportunity for everyone.
That is really sad…is that my boyfriend’s ex? I’m waiting for the day she makes a blog begging for money and blames him.
Bwa-ha, Robin! You should find out if that’s your boyfriend’s ex! It does sound like her! Harr!
19 rooms! Really?
How could a person with a 19 room house complain about anything?
Crazy, Robin, crazy! How many rooms do you have in your mansion?
Sounds like you have a nice, place, Robin! 6 or 7 rooms is pretty good!
Why do you think I have a 30 mile commute each way to work…because we can only afford this out in our neck of the woods.
You don’t think a studio apartment would work to get you a less intensive commute?
I can see your new WordPress.com blog now, hterry: MoreRoomsForBegging.WordPress.com!
Well said, Jerry!
Once people get into the system of welfare it is awfully enticing to stay forever. I heard a news report yesterday there is a plan in Washington, D.C. to give unwed parents of children a $9,000 “marriage stipend†if they get married and get off welfare and “legitimize” their children in the eyes of the law. They can use that money for school, to start a business or to put a down payment on a house. Pretty good deal, if you ask me, but how soon will it be before you start seeing “serial marries†who live just to get married and divorced and married… to keep collecting that money!
The professional beggar you mention is common in New York. They can make $300 a day just by taking the change others give them all day long. It’s a sweet business if you have time to kill and little self-esteem.
Wow, an upstairs hideaway and a veranda. Nice!
Yes, take some photos. I would love to see your place.
Okay, cool! Let us know!
Hi Mark!
You make an excellent point about there being a difference between donating to a cause and begging. One uses spirit and, in the case we’re discussing, the other uses her children to plead money from strangers. What you are doing on your fine blog makes sense for those who choose to participate because you have much more going on with your site than just sharing money worries and your blog URL isn’t: WelfareMark.com 🙂
You don’t think it’s lazy to spend money on a website and then complain about how you don’t have enough money to clothe your children? Turn off the blog and get a job — work from home if you must. Strangers shouldn’t be expected to provide for your children.
Hey there. Obviously you’re referring to me, I see you pinging the hell out of my site stats as a repeat referrer. I’ve never once asked/solicited money from my readers. Yesterday several commented and asked if they could help, and many many more submitted emails through my site offering to help. So I stuck my address up. That’s a far cry from begging. As for you having an issue about my lack of job, you know not my reasons and I care not to explain my entire life to you. Don’t like what I have to say? Don’t read. But it’s clear you’re intrigued somehow.. you keep returning and combing through archives.
I hadn’t bothered to read through your comments before submitting one of my own. FYI… my welfare mum blog was originally hosted on blogsome. The domain name was registered by a person who wanted to see me have my own corner of the web (a reader half way across the country) and she also hosts it for free. I didn’t ask for that, it was an offer. I accepted.
Excuse the hell out of me for owning a computer. It was purchased with student loans – which is not a handout, it will be repaid.
God forbid, a welfare recipient actually be allowed to join the technological age and be connected to the world wide web so she can research a college term paper!
Further, my site will only remain open until I graduate from college in a few months and get a job as a social worker. One that will hopefully inspire many others to get out of the welfare system.
Man, you are just way off in your judgements of people. You make alot of assumptions, based on very little facts. I’m willing to bet you probably walked out on a woman and left her with children and she’s probably now on the system, trying to get by without your help. How does it feel to have someone assume terrible crap about you? Not very good, huh?
Hello Angela —
You don’t think your sob stories and tales of woe are meant to solicit money from your readers?
You talk a lot about the money you don’t have and your evocative blog URL — donated or not you accepted it and publish under the banner: “WelfareMum.com.”
That URL makes it rather obvious what you believe and where you are coming from in your life without any need for any assumptions anywhere. Bloggers write to affect people and get action and your site successfully does that as you point out in your comment here.
Soliciting help from strangers — be it via your blog or the welfare system — is unseemly and you must recognize that sting of truth or you wouldn’t have felt the need to come over here from over there to defend your behavior.
If you don’t want people to read about and comment on your lifestyle choices then don’t publish them on the web!
I haven’t combed through any of your archives. My readers may have and the traffic you’re seeing is from their repeated visits, not mine.
As for your assumptions about me, they obviously are not based on what I have written here in this blog. My assumptions about you, however, are based entirely on what you have published on your blog.
I see you’re calling me a “hater” on your blog now and that is telling as well.
Angela you sound awfully bitter towards men and seem to think a man in your life is to blame for all your problems. I’m just taking a wild guess though.
I take it you’ve never found yourself in a situation where you needed a helping hand? Welfare in the U.S. is strictly short term, and as someone who received it, I can guarantee you that I have paid more into the system (via taxes) than I received in those 4 years. Teh idea that accepting welfare is something to be ashamed of? That attitude has a lot to do with why the homeless population is so high in America. And the most telling part of all of this is that you’re ready to defend being judgemental, yet you have no desire to consider the truth of her (or anyone else on welfare who chooses to do what they can to alleviate their poverty) situation.
I don’t think I understand your argument as based on my post, karnythia, but I thank you for taking the time to come over here to share your thoughts.
I understand the welfare system is there to help people but people I know who are on welfare are not proud of it and they would never start a blog and write under the URL “WelfareMum.com” to publicize their financial status.
It will be interesting to see if Angela places her “WelfareMum.com” blogger experience on her resume or if she thinks that URL would in some way negatively taint her in the eyes of those evaluating her?
I’m not seeing anything that indicates she is proud of being on welfare. She is merely not ashamed of it (and really she shouldn’t be, as I said before pride plays a large role in the number of homeless people in America) and has chosen to blog about her life. I’d imagine she could write a book humanizing the face of welfare recipients in America. The “welfare queen” myth is one of the damaging fallacies in American economics.
It seems we have a certain kind of people in this world, no matter what comes along they will abuse it, the thieves of this world and those who will not work are sure to abuse the world wide web as they have everything else.
Sad part about this, many of our hearts have been harden because of those who misuse the system, there fore many who are in need of help never get it.
It is just so hard to separate those who are in need, from those who work the system. It would be nice if we had a way of telling the difference, you know ever now in again the one begging for money could be the one in need.
I did go and look at her web site, it seems to me that she is using circumstance to see what she can get out of people.
May the Lord Bless,
Jerry
Hi karnythia —
The “WelfareMum.com” blog URL she chooses to publish informs all.
I would love to see the research on pride and the homeless and welfare. If you have any statistical studies or scholarly journals you could point us to that would be great!
I actually might include parts of my site writings in the portfolio for my practicum, since I’m studying social work. Most of my social science professors have my url and read on a regular basis and they support my site and my intensions – which is to communicate with other single parents living in poverty.
Yes- I do believe placing my url in my resume` would taint a prospective employer’s view of me.. after all, you’re a random stranger from the net and you seem heavily biased against me already, and you haven’t even met me in person.
This part of the discussion is beginning to circle around itself so unless there is new ground to break, this recent narrow cycle of comments within this larger thread is finished.
Oh, and if you truly want this to end, again I ask you to please kindly remove my url.
she probably feels attacked because you attacked her. “too lazy to work” is an outright attack. her blog clearly states that she’s attending school and raising children. nowhere in the entire thing does it even remotely hint at any laziness, and yet, that’s the conclusion you came to. it was an attack. be a freakin’ man and admit it.
she seems, to me, like she’s working very hard to support her children, and to be able to give them a better life. and the route she’s chosen to take to do that (social work) is more noble than the route most people choose.
Begging for your blog???
Have you seen the blog about the couple that is taking donations via paypal to give some kitten that was “supposedly” thrown off a roof …an operation??? That’s begging. Then there is another blog I cam across where the couple claims their apartment was vandalized, where’s the proof? What do we rely on but what they say, just like the “noble” pregnant mom asking for money for her brother in law with leukemia. If you believe that, then I can sell you the Brooklyn Bridge.
I follow the blog in question and she simply states things as they are. How do I know? Because I am also a single mom and life is hard. I work from home and am starting a second job this week. Life is not easy, especially when you are left picking up the pieces of the mess someone else created by giving up and leaving. Why do I believe what she says? Because I lived it. Just this week, my daughter was wearing seasonly inappropriate clothing because she went through a growth spurt. Cards maxed out from September school shopping and no child support for this month.
The problem is legislation for enforcing child support is very leninet. Maybe it’s because it’s a man’s world?? Women will clean toilets, wait on tables and yes even pump gas to take care of the children….but the men? Oh, the men disappear and they can’t pay, because they have new families now, new cars, new homes…
I lived it and mostly everyone I know has lived it. I also worked with a Head Start program and saw it happen on a daily basis. Maybe you are not the type to walk away and forget you made beautiful children, but I have seen my share of men that do.
For Robin:
Be careful. Read the subject matter before you comment or you may be supporting soemthing you really don’t agree with. Before you say I am bitter about men…no I am not, just tired of the dead beats and the posers. Any dog can make a baby, it takes a real man to care for one.
Empathy is key to help single moms in similar situations. Legislature should be passed that is stricter on spouses that don’t pay child support.
What would happen if one day I got up and decided life was too hard and I could do better on my own? If we did what most of these men do, the foster care system would be in worst shape then it is now…
Think about that.
You provide some excellent advice, Robin. Thank you.
I wasn’t referring to you supermom. Well there are also an awful lot of deadbeat moms too and it takes more than just giving birth to be a mom/parent.
p.s. I know very well what I am commenting about here why would you think I didn’t?
supermom — Wish Lists have always been curious. If someone asks you what you want as a gift and you point them to your private Wish List that makes sense. To place a public Wish List on your blog and hope people click on it and buy you something might be more discovered attraction than begging. To proactively point your readers to your Wish List and implore them to purchase gifts for you or your children or your sick cat because of your woeful position in life that belongs to you and you alone — that, to me, anyway — is begging. It all depends on the blogger’s attitude, conceit and intention. ASL is terrific and I love the language and no one is wounded by learning an extra language. It only makes you smarter! 🙂
Robin! — You beat me to it! 😆
Blog begging is a lot like the legendary mother-daughter begging team that is “broken down” on the side of an expressway on-ramp.
They ask people for money so they can get their car towed and fixed.
However, if a cop pulls up and tells them to beat it because he sees them there every day, they are always able to start the car and move on if a cop orders them to do so.
People will always try to take advantage of the goodness of others. It’s a small percentage of people, but they are out there.
I’d rather give my money to a reputable charity that helps people break free of their chains of poverty by providing social services, job training, and assistance, than give money to someone with their own domain name and ISP service.
I also won’t give money to the local megachurch minister always begging for funds for his financially struggling church. That guy is begging for money around the world via satellite, lives in a gated community of millionaires, and owns more cars than his whole family needs.
The begging welfare mom with her own domain name isn’t much different than the “struggling” pastor with the million-dollar mansion and private jet fueled and ready at the airport.
The welfare mom just doesn’t have the jet and the mansion yet.
This is not to say that the poor don’t have internet connections and can’t have some luxuries here and there. Our economy would grind to a halt if that was the case. The internet can provide opportunities for self-betterment, so I encourage people to get wired.
I know poor people who have internet service and love how it opens their world beyond their neighborhood.
But, the poor people I know would never beg online.
They might get a second job. They might ask for help from relatives. They might cut back and make due during the financial crisis.
Of course, it might just be the people I know.
Beautifully argued, Chris. Your points are hard and shattering and I agree with your interpretation and actions in the whole.
Chris: Just wondering if you read the blog in question or just formed your opinion on what was stated here? Not to be intended as an attack, just some food for thought…
There is something such as group collusion where people just go along and agree without the full knowledge of all the facts or opinions of everyone involved. Here is a link:
http://www.arl.org/diversity/leading/issue8/abilene.html
I find it surprising how people can make quick decisions and judgements without knowing all the facts or attempting to fnd out the truth. Then again, why should I be surprised? It seems that many turn a blind eye to the actions of the politicians and agree with everything they say…even if their actions demonstrate otherwise.
C’est la vie and now back to my cooking….
I have a paypal button on my site. I figure that if anyone wants to give me money, for no reason at all, I’ll gladly accept it.
I’m unemployed, can’t seem to get a job because I’m too “overqualified” and am applying for anything and everything that’s out there.
So my domain was all paid for, and so were my computers, because I had a good job at one point.
If my husband didn’t have some money coming in, we’d be living on the streets by now, but my domain and hosting would still be all paid up and therefore my blog would still exist.
Maybe her situation was like mine… meaning that she had money at some point, or a job.
I know that if I were forced to go on welfare, I probably wouldn’t expect to change my entire lifestyle, just cut some corners on the things we’d buy.