Few realize there is always a sexual component at work in a family but that sexual component must be understood and accepted as part of the natural growth of children, especially daughters, in the midst of their parents and siblings. The power behind the sexual realization of a daughter in a family belongs to the mother and not the father. The mother is the sexual ideal modeled for the daughter — that doesn’t mean sexual intercourse — it simply means the daughter learns how to interact and grow on greater level of femininity while discovering for herself a deeper form of human intimacy.
There is a watershed moment in every family when the feminine-sexual center of the family must transfer from mother to daughter and while the timeline that change takes in a family can vary, that subtle transfer of power must occur in order for the daughter to fully realize her central role in her current and future family and as an invested member of society.
The transfer of sexual power to a daughter happens in small steps. Her emotions mature. The daughter grows and her body changes. She may wear make-up. Her intellect grows.
She learns the difference between boys and girls. Her morality deepens. She learns how to attract attention and how to keep that attention once it is given to her.
The problem in some families — beyond recognizing the natural power change from mother to daughter and allowing it to happen — comes when the mother understands the transfer of power but refuses to relinquish the sexual power in the house by choosing to compete with the burgeoning daughter.
Instead of naturally dressing more conservatively and deferring to the daughter in beauty and in the power of attracting, the mother pursues a more insidious path and dresses younger than her age, flirts with her daughter’s boyfriends and treats the daughter like a friend instead of a daughter. When that unfortunate motherly choice happens, the hierarchy of the family is forever wounded and few families recover from the mother-daughter juggernaut over the sexual core of the family.
That necessary transfer of power gives the daughter greater life and, for mothers who live in the identity of being only a sexual being, a slow death can take over the mother’s persona if she is unwilling to give up what rightfully belongs in nature to the daughter. Mothers who successfully make the transfer of power know that ageing and greying are the evolutionary paths of life into grandparenthood and elder respect, but some mothers are unwilling to accept their necessary predetermined loss of physical youth and unrestrained power.
Daughters who are forced to compete with their mothers for the sexual center of the home as they mature are forced to choose between two awful paths: Fight the mother head-on for a power struggle that never really ends, but always results in a destruction of the mother-daughter-family triad; or she can remain powerless, indecisive and infantilized in the family structure and sexless in social interactions on the grand human level.
All children need to be given their birthright to become more powerful and more beautiful than their parents and it is the innate requirement of each parent to give their children open paths to all the avenues of success — even on the sexual level — because the acquiescence of power and attraction in the name of youth is formed in the being of their hopeful children.