I have discovered a way to lose six pounds in three days. The process is simple, if painful, and I wouldn’t recommend it for the faint of teeth. I suffer from having a “meat trough.” If you don’t know what it means to have a meat trough, then color yourself lucky and move along! 

A meat trough is a space between your molars where meat loves to wedge into when you eat. The only way to remove the meat — or anything else that gets stuck there because everything else gets stuck there — is to use a good floss like Glide to remove the intruder. I have gear-like teeth so when stuff gets stuck in my teeth, it REALLY gets stuck. Enter Life Chocolate Oat Crunch Cereal. Let the weight loss begin!

If you choose to eat Chocolate Life Cereal, you may well end up searching for toothache help — even in the desperate, historic, form of notorious liquid cocaine drops of antiquity because, as I said in my review of that awful cereal, there are “chocolate” bits that turn into stone-like pebbles when the milk (soy milk) hits them.

I remember crunching down on something hard while eating the cereal and feeling it in my meat trough area. I immediately excused myself and dumped the contents of my mouth into the toilet. I resurrected my grace and charm and re-joined the table.

Later that night, my meat trough felt full and so I dutifully took my Glide floss and began weaving and bobbing and plucking what was stuck. I tried again and again to pull out the offending officer but my Glide exploration was coming up empty. I decided I must have bitten down too hard on the stony “chocolate bits” in the cereal and it would take a few days to feel better. For the next three days I could not eat anything.

My teeth were aching.

Aleve did no good. Advil helped a bit. I brushed. I flossed. I still ached. I lost six pounds in three days. On the fourth day, I decided to do a little gums massage with my finger to see if that might alleviate some pain.

When I reached my meat trough area, I found a bulging deposit near my outer gum line that — when I gently massaged it — exploded in a waterfall of blood and pus! I immediately felt better. As I blotted away the blood and pus from my mouth I thought I should attend an appointment at the dentist because whatever was ailing me had moved from my meat trough to my gums and this pus and blood wasn’t a good indicator of friendly things to come. I rattled off to bed.

I awoke feeling good and alive. When I checked my gum explosion area from the night before, I was both horrified and pleased to find sitting in the eruption area — and not lodged at all — a sharp shard of unmelted, stony, Chocolate Life cereal. Somehow that cereal “chocolate bit” had wedged itself between my outer tooth along the gums line and sat there, embedded, causing fever and weight loss and my meat trough didn’t even come into play!

I guess my gums manipulation the night previous had persuaded the intruder to descend and, after the pus and blood were gone, the “chocolate stone” finally had room to wend its way downward where I could remove it without digestion. I’m happy to report I did not have to visit the dentist.

I have also sworn off Life Chocolate Oat Crunch Cereal not just because it tastes awful, but because it also proved a threat to my general well-being — though, I suppose one could argue a side benefit of the experience was the quick loss of six pounds — but I wouldn’t wish the pus and blood on anyone.

29 Comments

  1. This is almost “too much info” – I hate dentists, I hate dental pain to the point of being phobic.
    Very glad you have solved the problem and you can now eat properly.
    (Have you considered suing the manufacturers of the cereal?)

  2. Hi Nicola!
    Ha! I guess there’s a limit to blood and puss, eh? 😀
    I don’t like dentists either. I just loathe going for a check up.
    All is much better now, thanks!
    Have you ever been assaulted by something you ate? My mother broke a tooth once crunching down on a too-hard roll when she was out to dinner. The restaurant refused to pay for the tooth repair because no one else in the restaurant had that problem.
    No, I haven’t thought of suing Life cereal. It would be a hard one to win since my own body rescued me from their stony “chocolate” nuggets.

  3. I have had various disasters. I think the worst was a crispy roast potato which took out a crown once. I also lost a filling to muesli and to an ice cube.
    Maybe in the interests of H&S you should write to them saying that you have encountered that problem – and no you do not want a free packet of cereal in compensation – just need to make them aware.

  4. Ouch! Losing a crown hurts, Nicola. Muesli is delicious but, dangerous, I agree, it loves meat troughs. Were you chewing your ice cube at the time? Do you pretest foods that might hurt your teeth now or do you just munch away?
    What does “H&S” mean?
    You’re right I should let them know. I could point them to my review — but that would probably only make them angry! 😉

  5. H&S = Health and Safety.
    And yes I do crunch ice cubes – well I did. I have now given up diet coke and the ice cubes as well.
    I always avoid crunchy roast potatoes and muesli now. I don’t pretest – just exercise caution.
    What we should do is all click your review so this article and that article rise up the google rankings and everyone who does a search on *that* cereal will read the cautionary tales.

  6. Nicola!
    You are smart to take care of your teeth with that precaution! Good job! I could never get into eating ice cubes. It always hurt too much because it was so cold. I know a lot of people who still do it, though! 😀
    I love your idea to get hits on that article!

  7. Fortunately, I naver had a dental problem till date – never visited a dentist except for the routine check up…
    The idea of poking, drilling and doing god knows what inside my mouth with all those scary looking tools are way too much to handle!
    David, sorry to hear your trouble! Throw away the box of cereal out of the window…for good!

  8. Katha!
    Yes, the dentist is still a caveman-like experience with needles, drills, hammers and saws! Yikes! The orthodontist is even worse. The Root Canal Specialist is Worser. The Molar Surgeon is Worse-est! 😀
    Can you image what it was like going to the dentist 60 years ago? Horse tools. No Novocaine. You drank whiskey and bit a bullet — even if you were a child.
    The cereal is gone and dead!

  9. I know!
    My aunt (my mother’s sister) just ran away from a dental surgeon’s chamber after seeing those creepy ‘utensils’ –
    She freaked out and told the nurse she wanted to use the restroom and escaped from there!
    She came back home crying!
    The hospital ended up calling the cop! 😀

  10. The problem with modern dentistry that is kind and not ruthless is it is very expensive. There are tender ways to numb teeth with electricity. There are quiet ways to take an impression of the teeth without using steel mesh. Unfortunately, most of the world is still living with ancient, and painful, dental techniques and it leads to the sad “not wanting to go visit” syndrome that drives many of us away from, instead of into, the dentist’s chair.

  11. Ouch!
    A foreign object under the gum line can’t be a good thing for oral health.
    I hope I don’t jinx myself, but my dentist usually doesn’t have to do much work with my teeth.
    When my dad was in the military, we had all of the dental sealants and fluoride treatments don’t when I was young. I also had a retainer, so all of the major stuff was done as a fringe benefit of my dad’s military service!
    Now, I get the routine cleaning every 6 months or so and that’s about it.

  12. Chris!
    I can’t remember ever having anything ever get stuck between tooth and gums like that before! I guess that’s why it took me so long to figure it out.
    Your parents were smart to “paint your teeth!” We had one guy who moved to Lincoln and he had zero cavities. The rest of us hometowners were incredulous. Impossible! How could it be?
    He ate candy and junk just like the rest of us, but when he’d pop his mouth open to show us the most pristine teeth we’d ever seen, we’d just wonder at him in awe.
    He told us his mother had all of his teeth “sealed” when he was younger so he wouldn’t get cavities. The rest of us looked at each other dumbfounded and wondering what in the world he was talking about. None of us had ever heard of such a thing but all of us wanted it!

  13. Hi David,
    When my kids get their permanent teeth, I’m going to talk to the dentist about getting their teeth sealed — even if I have to pay for it out of pocket. It’s the best spent money in dental care!