Are you a Kentucky Fried Cheapskate?  You are if you’re all upset because your free Oprah coupon for the new “Kentucky GRILLED Chicken” special was refused or rain checked.


Is a free meal really that important that you’d close down traffic and hold a sit-in protest?

Where was your activism against the illegal invasion of Iraq and the subsequent state-sponsored torture?  Were you clipping Papa John’s coupons and redeeming the free small fries you won playing McDonald’s Monopoly?

I’ve never seen such bad behavior in good people who claim to be righteously upset over a chicken coupon.

Does any nation of mature people need a rain check for anything grilled?

I’ve seen people on TV “demanding their rights” for the KFC dinner and how their “trust has been violated” and how they’ll “never believe another the Colonel Sanders says” and how they’re going to protest and fight for their chicken dinner.

Have we become a nation of Crybabies?

When did a grilled chicken take on more vitality in a life than hungry children starving Darfur, monks being beaten bloody in Burma and Joan Rivers winning the Celebrity Apprentice?

I haven’t eaten chicken — or any meat — for the last decade or so, and I vow here and now to continue to never eat another bite of any chicken unless and until Americans grow up and take responsibility for the real liabilities in their lives instead of jousting with these cutout cartoon dragons and hand drawn paper straw men they live so hard to pretend to slay every day to protect their herb-infused grilled fantasies from our deep-friend reality.

8 Comments

  1. I keep thinking that this KFC thing is going to be a giant “just kidding” hoax by the American People and that it will turn out they weren’t that upset about it. It reminds me of an image I saw yesterday with the top selling iphone apps in the US and the UK. One was a world reference book, and the other was “Are you a MORON?” quiz. You can sadly guess which went to which.

  2. I’m astonished at the play the KFC stuff is getting everywhere. I guess the major media are bored and picking on KFC and Oprah makes for higher ratings or something. I saw that moron app and did not buy. Ugh. I will buy any reference book for sale, though. I guess that makes me uncouth.

  3. I can’t begin to say just how appalled I am at the conduct and behavior surrounding this issue!
    My first thought is:
    “What! People can’t go home and grill their own chicken?” “Doesn’t anyone cook for themselves these days?”
    It’s rather dismal that anyone would get so distraught over a grilled chicken sandwich coupon!
    My second thought is:
    Instead of Oprah Winfrey issuing out money to accommodate all these coupons, why not rather put that money down against our governments national debt? It would help to boost the economy and it would probably be a “BIG” tax write off for her!

  4. I love your ideas, Kimberley! Why not take all the money spent on the free chicken and pay down the debt! Excellent idea! So prescient and so wonderfully purposeful to precisely explain why all our priorities and values are wrong.
    Since when was anyone ever entitled to a free chicken dinner? Just because it is offered doesn’t mean it needs to be accepted and it must never be demanded. What a mess for KFC and Oprah, because I don’t think either believed people would be so vengeful in what was supposed to be a fun giveaway.

  5. It would be wonderful if people actually made good use of their money by viewing the entire picture and seeing how we place in the whole scheme of things.
    They need to broaden their sights! They are looking through too narrow a scope! I can just imagine how Oprah’s gift could have benefitted us as a nation in a more productive way by paying down the national debt. Perhaps, she could have even offered to bail out some of the sinking industries! This would have had a very serious impact on the ever rising “unemployment” rates. What a shame that the finances were used on grilled chicken and coupons!
    I do have a right to judge on this matter! I am from the state where KFC originally made it’s start! I also might add that the expense of eating at a fast food restaurant costs the American families significantly more than purchasing items from the local grocery store to prepare at home. One benefit, the coupons that you might clip from your Sunday paper … are actually redeemable! There is a lot to be said for making the sensible choice.

  6. I like your argument for a return to sensibleness, Kimberley, and that is precisely right. Instead of buying her “best friend Gayle” a $7.1 penthouse apartment in Manhattan —
    http://www.tmz.com/2008/03/27/oprah-buys-gayle-a-maxi-pad/
    — Oprah could have done much better in the world by spending that money on child healthcare or some other kind service to pay back those that support her show. Nobody needs to live in that expensive of a place. Nobody.