UPDATE: December 7, 2010
Gibson have done the Firebird brand even worse with the new “Flood Swirl” color scheme that looks like something you’d find at the bottom the Gibson factory floor — or an unflushed toilet. The new colors — Redolution and Blue-volution — yes, that’s really the names of the swirls, appears to replace the previously announced orange scheme.
Gibson CEO Henry Juszkiewicz revealed his new “revolutionary” $5,500.00USD Firebird X robot guitar guitar today in New York City — and the sound of sweat flop dripping from his brow was overwhelming. Not since the disastrous introduction of the SG Zoot Suit in the Summer of 2009 did we have such enormous pity for what was once such a grand and innovative company.
Here’s the strangely generic Gibson PR blurp for the Firebird X:
The Firebird X Guitar takes the guitar instrument to new heights of functionality and usability for the professional player and the aspiring enthusiast. Using technologies that did not exist even a few years ago, we could enhance an already outstanding instrument to unbelievable performance and creative heights. The enhancements touch every aspect of the instrument, from using improved manufacturing technologies to the latest electronics. Firebird X is like the world’s best street legal sports car in looks, feel and performance.
Here’s Henry himself making the dreaded announcement in what has instantly become an instant classic as the worldwide example of How Not to Introduce a Revolutionary New Guitar:
What a sad, little, stage. What an awkward performance. Oh, the woe — it matches the aesthetic of this ugly guitar! That video is even linked from the official Gibson.com announcement page!
Here’s the disastrous Firebird X in action from the same, sorry, stage:
Oh, my ears!
Oh, my eyes!
Do we really need a Firebird X Countdown timer on the Gibson.com website when nobody wants to buy this artificial monstrosity?
Gibson needs to stick to making the best historic Custom Shop Old World guitars in the universe — AND GET THE NECKS SET UP RIGHT FROM THE FACTORY!
I will say one good thing about the new — but still awful in every way — Firebird X: At least they got rid of the ridiculous banjo tuners.