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The Lashed Author

We, as authors, are lashed upon the whale we hope to tame; we are lashed by our publishers against the rail, who fail to tame us; we are lashed by our detractors upon the sun, and, they too, cannot tame our darkness — and yet! — we still try to thrive in the memorialization of what we hope to know, and what we know must be shared. In the light of that pitiful delight, the Authors Guild have released a new report concerning the overall mean income for authors, and the results are astounding, resounding, and, unfortunately for too many of us, sublimely familiar.

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To Publish and then Perish

My friend, Gordon Davidescu, sent me this interesting link from O’Reilly publishing where you buy a book that is bound in a school-like binder and then you can either download updated chapters and cut them up and place them in the binder or you can order pre-cut pages from the publisher to add to your book binder.

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Baby Blogging: Signs the Blogosphere is Imploding

If there is such as thing as the “Blogosphere” I discovered over the weekend it is imploding with the weight of bad intentions gone wrong. We have discussed the perils and predilections of Mommy Blogging in the past — but Baby Blogging — the worst possible aftereffect of The Mommy Bloggers, takes the entire idea of precious children on the internet, into a whole new sad level of self-importance. I read one blog “written” by a one-year-old baby using words like “dimorphic” and “ball sack” and “fistula.”

We also learned what was digested that day, how it came out in the end, and how many times Daddy was punched in the groin by baby’s precocious fist. I’m making it sound much more entertaining and funnier than it was because there were five entries per day for that kind of babbling diarrhea.

What is the point of Mommy writing a blog as if her Baby had written it?

The idea can’t be humor. It must be some sort of prospecting for genius in their offspring:

“My baby was blogging at nine months, what’s your excuse for an illiterate 11-month old?”

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Helicopter Parents and Militia Mommies

A good friend of mine in Nebraska — who shall remain nameless unless he steps forward here — sent me a great email yesterday full of fascinating thoughts and feelings as well as the following riff on unsavory and selfish parents:

I have personally witnessed and heard stories about minivan moms. These are the women — who have one, maybe two kids — but don’t work regular jobs, and take their kids to school every day. They band together in packs, always drinking their morning coffee in the drop off lanes at school.

On the surface, this of course is a “Leave it to Beaver” scenario. But I have discovered that many are prejudiced against those of us that have jobs, and drop our kids off and go to work. If we are in a hurry, they bitch and honk at you like you ran a red light or cut them off on the interstate. They travel in packs, socialize at the school, and help out at the school like it matters to their son’s or
daughter’s education if they are there or not.

What I have read, later on in life, these parents, usually women but sometimes men, become “helicopter parents.”  Right now in the Lincoln paper, there’s another article how they follow their kids to college and continually intervene in the guidance of their children who need to start thinking and figuring life out on their own.

In trying to be protective and nurturing, these people don’t do justice to their own offspring and get a bad name for themselves. Like an alcoholic or
drug user, they deny a problem exists. Some of these parents I have run across at the elementary level are down right nasty to deal with.

Have you heard of the “Helicopter Parents” phenomenon before?

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Mr. Grumpy Goes Blogging Round Three

It’s time once again for Mr. Grumpy to Go Blogging! This is Round Three of the Mr. Grumpy Series on Blogging. Mr. Grumpy’s goal here is to point out misfortunate blog design choices and mistakes in meaning and incoherent content and creative choices that make blogging a painful experience for the rest of us instead of one built on Passion and Magnitude. Some of the following mandates come from Mr. Grumpy, some of them come from Mr. Grumpy’s readers — all come from eyes too swollen by bad blogs to afford us a good night’s sleep and that makes everyone grumpy! Let’s get started:

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One Voice One Blog One Reader

Do you own blog? If yes, why? How often do you post new material to your blog? Do you go beyond yourself in your blog posts or do you just document the moments of your day?
Do you read other blogs? If yes, how many do you read every day?

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Where We Are Going: 2008 Predictions

Hooray for 2008 and I hope your year is joyous and not yet bloody! 

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