Neither Rain Nor Snow Nor Email
I was raised on the belief that the United States Postal Service delivered your mail anytime and anywhere you needed it. Nothing could stop the delivery of the mail.

I was raised on the belief that the United States Postal Service delivered your mail anytime and anywhere you needed it. Nothing could stop the delivery of the mail.

I’m a little late in posting this article today because my back is killing me, my wallet is weeping, and I hurt my leg yesterday trying self-deliver a 187-pound Stott Pilates Reformer I purchased from Amazon.com. If wishes were made my way, I’d never have the made purchase and I’ll tell you why. First, look at my Amazon.com invoice below. I’m posting it here to verify I bought the godforsakenthing and to show the ZERO charge for shipping. That’s important to remember for later.

Continue reading → When Curbside Service Means: We Drop it in the Street
Janna and I learned a hard lesson yesterday: FTD Ruined Mother’s Day!
Incompetence has many feral fathers and its talent for boorishness is born in a variety of floral colors and indigent mothers — but when it comes to ruining Mother’s Day tomorrow — FTD barely edges out the DHL delivery service for the ultimate “I poop on you!” grand prize.
Janna and I ordered a lovely $60.00 USD bouquet for Janna’s mom in Iowa from the online flower powerhouse FTD — I’ll show you the flowers here virtually tomorrow since that’s the only way they’re ever going to be delivered anywhere — and we were incredibly disappointed to learn yesterday the flowers would not be delivered as promised.
There’s nothing better than talking to a robot on the phone at 11:00pm when you’ve been waiting over 15 hours for a delivery of a vital computer part to arrive from UPS into the root of your urban core.
My advice in defeating the UPS robot call center is to just keep saying, — Agent! — over and over and over again at every prompt until the robot voice lady gives up and chillingly feeds you into the queue to speak to a real live person with the personality of a robot.
In my neighborhood in the Jersey City Heights my regular UPS guy is great.
[UPDATED DECEMBER 17, 2003: If you work for FedEx, please do not email me with your comments about how wonderful FedEx is to everyone across the globe. My experience speaks separately from yours. I recently paid for Overnight Priority FedEx shipping from a software company (FedEx is the only overnight delivery service they use) and the box arrived at 5pm, not by 10:30am as promised on the FedEx tracking website. The software company had no idea what happened. FedEx, of course, blamed the shipper. When my box arrived, I called the software company and read the tracking information on the box. They were struck silly because that label was not THEIR label and I concur that the label was generic. At the software company shipping department’s urging, I then peeled off the “fake” Standard Overnight label and found the original shipper’s label with logo underneath — with a different tracking number — that stated the box was, indeed, originally marked “Priority Overnight.” While I have no idea who replaced the original label, the question of why is not in doubt.]
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