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The Problem with Hillary is Bill’s Penis

There. I said in the headline of this article what Donald Trump has been bumping up against all this week — “Hillary is unelectable because her husband’s penis ruined his presidency and our America” — and, in many respects, that argument is uncomfortably right on target, especially for those of us who are old enough, and wizened enough, to remember the Bad Old Days of the Clinton presidency that ended mired in vaginal cigar penetration and accusations of rape against a sitting president.

Even Hillary’s odd and off-putting campaign logo for 2016 can be semiotically read as an erect, red, penis — not just the tip penetrating a blue barrier — but plunging through it as well. From the moment I saw that awful campaign logo I knew she was in trouble. Either someone on Hillary’s staff is playing with her, or she really is as bad a personality-less campaigner as she claims.

Who the hell wants to relive Bill Clinton penis stories for the next six months? And yet that’s the legacy before us as Hillary reminds us of his angry, red, act every day with that penetrating cock logo!

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The Narcissistic Mother

The Narcissistic Mother is a classically-defined psychological condition that infects, and ruins, many mother-daughter and mother-son relationships. The tenets of such a motherhood are created equally in the evil dyad of the purposeful and the poisoning.

My new book — Mother Narcissus — is autobiographical fiction inspired by the Narcissistic Mother meme, and it has taken me over a half-century to write because the confronted themes and unconditional threats are not insoluble and are always voluble. Soon enough, the day comes when one must stand up to stare down all the vicious demons, no matter how else they are perceived by others.

BUY NOW!

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Broken Families and Half-Brothers and Whole-Sisters

I was born in a time when being a child from a “broken family” meant your mother and father were divorced and you were irretrievably marked in the marketplace of social commerce as damaged goods.  Today, there’s slightly less stigma of being from a broken family — because there are so many more of them now — but that broken label is still hard to shake even if you never let it directly affect you.

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Jesse James Joins the Unfaithful Oscar Spouse Club

When Sandra Bullock was thanking people at one of the award ceremonies where she won an award, she thanked her husband, Jesse James, for having her back. Given the events of the last couple of weeks, I am starting to wonder if having her back meant that he was deeply stabbing her in it.

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Madonna Done Did It

Madonna and Guy Ritchie are splitting up — and we champion the dissolution of their marriage because we never believed it was anything more than a publicity stunt to give Madonna a reason to use her fake British accent.

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When the Wretched Wreak Revenge

Tricia Walsh-Smith made a YouTube video accusing her husband, Phil, of a variety of awful things and watching her strange and discomforting “divorce” video renders down the likability of the entire human race a few notches.

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I Had A Little Husband

by Tammy Tillotson

I had a little husband, no bigger than my thumb,
I put him in a pint pot, and there I bid him drum,
I bought a little handkerchief to wipe his little nose,
And a pair of little garters to tie his little hose.

–The Real Mother Goose

The Introduction
The lady over there by herself is Tammy…Ream…no, wait…Tillotson. It is Tillotson isn’t it? She did change her name back didn’t she? So-and-so said she’s separated, the poor dear. So-and-so’s friend said that she’s just going back to college to finish her education and that things have nothing to do with him. So-and-so’s friend of a friend overheard from her fifth cousin twice removed on her mother’s side of the family that it is true. She is getting a divorce.

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