Laughter is a great salve against the pain within and threats from the outside in — but laughter can be hard to effectively communicate in a text form — so, to assist you in the release of antigens against the toxins, I have created: The Universal Guide for Textual Laughing

On Friday I claimed this:

Most theatre people I know are trained early on to appreciatively applaud and genuinely laugh at will and on command — it’s part of the culture when you attend a live performance to provide proper interaction — so I have developed probably 100 types of laughs (30 of them textual!) and 7 sorts of applause!

Today I will provide you proof from an esoteric mind that it is possible to effectively communicate various laughs online in the guise of 30 precise, unique, and verifiable laughs.

The evidence today is not reliant upon any one blogging platform or internet browser. You need not know or learn any code to employ these 30 bits of joy in text. You. Just. Type. Them.

Today we are cross-platform / cross-browser / cross-funny bone compatible and incredibly guttural and frighteningly inappropriate in sharing these textual guffaws.

Here, in no particular order — and wholly gender neutral and completely politically neutered — is your Universal Guide for Textual Laughing:

  1. Bwa-hah
  2. Tee-hee
  3. Ho-hoo
  4. Nya-ah
  5. Moo-heh
  6. Sh-a-dangle!
  7. Titteringle
  8. Whee-hoo!
  9. Hoo-harf!
  10. Fwap!
  11. Haa
  12. Heh
  13. Ho-ah
  14. Haar
  15. Blar
  16. Mwa-ha
  17. Mwa-ha-harr
  18. Bwat-hah
  19. Bw-hah-harrr
  20. Mwoo-hoo
  21. Mwii-hee
  22. Tyya!
  23. Whaaaa!
  24. Oooff!
  25. Gwaff!
  26. Bliick!
  27. Snorttle
  28. Pi-shangii!
  29. Dwitt-spee
  30. Higgle-yorff

Please invoke these genuine forms of Universal Textual Laughing for all future posts and comments. If I missed any laughs, please provide them in a comment framed by context!


  1. Hi David,
    Love your article!
    We might want to be very careful with No. 13, Ho-ah. Could your blog get blasted off the net for this?
    Imus in the morning.

  2. He-he
    Snicker/s and smirk/s and throws in a giggle or two as well as a chortle and a guffaw!

  3. Another English one ……. Fnar fnar which according to the Urban dictionary is ” The noise of a stifled snigger made by infantile males when confronted with a tenuous “double entendre” .

  4. Hi David,
    I believe the Marine saying used by Pacino was “Hooah,” or sometimes it is spelled “Huah.”
    Ha. Ha.

  5. David,
    Do not forget the old standby if you happen to have a congested nose: “fneee hee hee!”

  6. Khee…khee…khee… 😀
    Amazing and funny!!!

  7. Blogging is the New Theatre

    Blogging is the new Theatre. We are now our own producing companies and we create — in real time — new tragedies, musicals and comedies every single day online. We self-produce content and conflict. We create lights and sounds and

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