Yesterday, during an intensive discussion of murdered doctor George Tiller,
I made this comment concerning the Hegelian idea of tragedy:

As my first attorney told me: “If no one on either side is happy after I write up a contract, then I know I’ve done my job.”

I now wonder if a synonym for “fair” is “unhappy.”

If two sides have irreconcilable differences, it seems natural that a negotiation ending up being “fair” must mean each side is wallowing in some sort of disappointment in the outcome.

Instead of saying we want a “fair” deal; perhaps we should start thinking in terms of getting an “unhappy” deal that will begin to set a new bar of human expectation.


  1. I’m an optimist so … I turn opposition into opportunity!
    It is true that life is often unfair! I think being unhappy is a frame of mind though. We need to be able to take everyday situations and make the best of them. Disappointments are only as “BIg” as we lend them strength to be.
    You know that I have had my share of disappointments! I still have ambitions that I have held on too for a long time. When the time comes I will take my chance and seize the moment. Until then, I do not have to sulk around unhappy! I can enjoy the life I have with all the dramas attached and rest assured that I was Blessed one more day!
    Disappointments only hold people back! It inhibits you and weighs you down! Learn to climb on top of the disappointments and be the ruler!

  2. Personally, I thought that fair meant that both sides gave and got a little bit and neither side was unbalanced.

  3. Gordon —
    Every contract negotiaion I’ve been in or witnessed had high stakes attached and if you lost one little thing you needed there were always hard feelings to process after the signatures were dry.

  4. True! Happiness perhaps should not be considered for some people. I am pretty sure that I know a few people who are at full contentment only when in misery! I don’t think that is the case for everyone though. People are different or diverse and relate to things differently. What motivates me may not effect you at all!
    However, being an optimist I tend to look for the positive side of every obstacle I face. It does not mean that I am never unhappy … I just refuse to stay unhappy! I could never survive without my happiness! My happiness is my inward peace that keeps me settled and anchored when the winds of life blow their strongest. Happiness is not just something I keep bottled up inside me … it’s contagious! This is what makes our world so beautiful!

  5. Well said, Kimberley! I try to aim for neutral. That way it’s easier to find the heights of me if I need to call them into action.

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