It seems that every day brings us further along the track to being relentlessly inundated with Celebrity Overload. I don’t even want to have to mention a television show with a name like “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here” which just further puts a divide between those that are celebrated and those that are not. The last week has brought out a deluge of people who seem to be obsessed with Megan Fox’s thumbs. Specifically, the fact that one of her thumbs seems abnormally large and resembles a man’s toes. This, dear readers, has been captivating the attention of the United States so much that it is actually a top tracker in Google Trends.

While all of this has been going on, a man with a deranged mission managed to get into the National Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. and fatally shot an employee and wounded a guard before he was stopped by the security. Somehow, I think that the ramifications of this tragedy are going to be a lot more profound and deeper reaching than the shape of Megan Fox’s thumbs.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you care at all about the shape or size of Megan Fox’s thumbs? In which way does the status of her thumbs affect your life at all? Has your life changed in a meaningful or substantial way now that you have some insight on the uncanny comparison between the thumb of an actress and the toe of a fully grown man?

Might that be enough for us for a week – or do we also need to know that Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart are beach ready? Exactly what does it mean to be beach ready? Apparently it is not enough to have a good towel, bucket, and small shovel anymore. You actually have to have an acceptable level of physical fitness, as well.

6 Comments

  1. I love this article, Gordon!
    It’s amazing how shallow our national mindset has become. I suppose it’s because we’re so deep into death in the Middle East and worrying about a celebrity monkey thumb gives us a necessary diversion from reality?

  2. It’s unfortunate, though, that so much time is spent on this sort of celebrity mishmash. It’s like Percodan for the masses. You’re left in a hazy fuzz with no cares. Meanwhile, the GOP and the hospital and doctors and health insurers are all darkly gathering against Obama to thwart any sense of national healthcare. We’re in crisis and all we get is Megan Fox.