I would like to open by answering the question posed in the title of this article of whether it matters if Snooki is pregnant and the answer is absolutely not. Having written this, I would like to explain further why it is that it does not matter that Snooki may or may not be pregnant.

Snooki is, for lack of a better word, fiction. It does not matter that she is part of a reality television program. If there is anything I have learned from over a decade of the existence of the so-called reality television, it is that there is very little reality in reality television.

We live in an age in which Kim Kardashian continues to pervasively invade our lives through appearing on cover after cover of entertainment magazines with subjects varying from her failed marriage to allegations that the failed marriage was completely fabricated.

The issue is therefore that of consequence and when it comes to the matter of young Snooki being pregnant, there are no long term consequences and when history looks back on 2012, it will be remembered for many things but none of them will be whether or not Snooki was pregnant in March.

What I continue to not understand is why the television show on which Snooki is a major star continues to be so extremely popular considering that there is absolutely no reality to it. I grew up in New Jersey and I spent summers regularly going to the Shore and I can assure you that the Shore that I saw in my life is nothing like the Shore that is represented on the television program of that name.

It is quite possible that every single person who watches The Jersey Shore is fully aware of the fact that it is a fabricated reality that they are watching and that they are only watching because they want to make it real. They perhaps hope to push themselves onto the Shore scene and recreate what they see on the television show, not realizing that since it is entirely staged for their entertainment, any attempt to replicate the fake reality will inevitably lead to pain and possibly hospitalization or death.

I therefore implore the general reader to please consider the following and just ignore any report you may read regarding the pregnancy of one Snooki from the Jersey Shore. As the dear character of Linus once regularly said in the comic Peanuts, it really won’t matter in one hundred and fifty years.

11 Comments

  1. I’m sure MTV are hoping the real Baby Daddy is Vinny from The Jersey Shore. Then they can have spin-off after spin-off! W

    hen Chris Christie became Gov. of New Jersey, he said — in response to a mean-spirited inquiry about how The Jersey Shore poorly reflects his State — “The cast of The Jersey Shore are New Yorkers. They have nothing to do with Jersey.”

    1. “Baby Daddy” is most definitely in my top ten phrases to eliminate from the English Language, David! It has such an air of immaturity to it, for some reason. Of course this may be why a friend of mine calls me a prescriptivist.

        1. This is completely tangential but I would love to see this on a DNA testing show of Maury (my wife is a fan) even just ONCE —

          Mary says that Ken is the father of her ten month old baby. Ken says that he could not possibly be the father.

          Maury takes out the envelope.

          Maury : Ken, when it comes to the ten month old baby… you are the father!

          Mary : Ken, you surely must now concede that you are in fact the father of this baby.

          Ken : You are correct. I will now accept the responsibility that comes with being the father of this baby.

          The audience does not know what to do with itself.

          1. I’ve been watching some Maury — it’s the #1 show in daytime now — and there are a few men who do step up and say just that. They do the right thing. It doesn’t always happen, but when it does, the audience always cheers. It’s a wonderful moment.

  2. I agree with both of you,Gordon and David, on this topic. Why would the possible pregnancy of a single woman be of importance to the World? There are people who are fighting wars,others who are attempting to save lives while some manage how the Economy fluctuates via stocks and trade. So,what effect would a single person’s pregnancy, that is based(In my opinion) for future ratings of a show,have on a larger scale when it cannot be accounted for anything in the first place. There is no consequence or change in the World because of this fact, it is not even a simple event that could be looked at as an example for future generations.

    Reality TV is just the opposite of real,staged so thoroughly that it seems to actually be just a bad play script.

    PS: My sisters enjoyed the Maury show when we were being raised and they always relayed the stories of that day to me. Those moments are scarce,but they do happen according to my siblings.

  3. I felt worse for humanity. Is it really this state of decadence we as humans have placed ourselves in so comfortable and accepted now that matters such as not knowing who the progenitor of your child is are completely normal? It exempts them from being persecuted or judged as morally incorrect,but does not address the real issue at hand which is the irresponsible and immature actions of people. Now,I am aware that no one is perfect but in the long term health of a nation,let alone a species, what customs we adopt have a ripple effect in the future which will affect how we as a race interact and develop.

    Would it not be much better for the health of both the child and parents to have a responsible and knowledgeable understating of the reasons,consequences and subsequent events procreating has for their lives. If more people actually thought what having a child,raising it and caring for entails perhaps there would not be so many stories about who the father is,or how much abuse the children go through because it was a completely unplanned and unwanted event in the parents lives.

    I am in no way objecting to the fact that every life is precious,regardless of how it may have originated,but I do question the integrity and actual positive long term outcome these situations may deliver. There is truly no right or wrong action,the fact persists that it was not thoroughly thought in most cases and as a consequence,such situations arise that affect lives.