Don’t Drone Me, Dude!

Don’t Tase Me, Bro!” will soon be out-hollered by us all in a new plea against the machine: “Don’t Drone Me, Dude!” — completely performed in the outcry of public theatricality that now passes for national security. Where once our shoes had more dangerous derring-do than the hovering skies above us — today, we are forced to realize our ordinary, everyday, overlord drones are blackening our city skies and that they are inherently more dangerous than all the guns in heaven.

Continue reading → Don’t Drone Me, Dude!

Crocs: I Hate You, Now DIE!

When a person is in pain, they will go to any lengths to help ease the suffering.  Ever since my unfortunate Times Square Tripping accident, my left foot has not quite been right.

I’ve had a touch of Plantar fasciitis since the accident and that gives me a bit of heel pain when I walk — and I walk a lot!   A couple of weeks ago, I also wrenched the middle toe on the same foot during a hurried Yoga session — where I learned the hard way to always be present and breathe.

I’m obsessively on the lookout for good and proper shoes, and I’ve heard a lot about Crocs being a great and comfortable shoe.  I never stepped a foot into the mouth of the crocodile because Crocs were hard to find, and because I hate ordering shoes online.

It often takes forever to get shoes delivered — even if you overpay for overnight shipping., I discovered the hard way this week, are no better than the Payless when it comes to getting the right shoes on your foot in the nick of time.

Continue reading → Crocs: I Hate You, Now DIE!

The Ugliest Shoes in the World

We all know we cannot afford cheap shoes.  Yesterday, I could not resist the opportunity to buy some cheap shoes/slippers/slip-ons at Payless because they were so ugly, and ridiculous, and — unlike O.J., these ugly-ass shoes fit me like a glove — and, as an added bonus, the slippers match the rug!  Now when I walk across the living room, I’m invisible from the ankles down!

Continue reading → The Ugliest Shoes in the World

The Stride Rite Shoe Review

At first there was a lot of hesitation in our son Chaim Yosef‘s movement when standing. He would hold onto the couch and slowly make his way over from one part to another. When he reached the end of the couch, however, he sat down and proceeded to crawl away. It went on this way for a long time until one day he apparently got sick of just toddling along and just started walking as though he had been walking for months with almost no stumbles or spills along the way. When I told my coworkers about this, the two that had children well past the age both asked me the same thing — had I purchased Stride Rite shoes for him? Specifically, the ones meant for toddlers who were just starting to walk. I answered that I had not and they insisted that I immediately buy him a pair.

My wife took young Chaim Yosef to the Stride Rite shoe store at the mall not too far from our home and when I got home from the office that evening proudly showed me her findings — R2D2 shoes. We are both big fans of the original Star Wars trilogy and of course adore little R2D2. The shoes close by Velcro and have the design of the body of R2D2 where it straps shut, with the head being the part that straps the shoe shut.

Continue reading → The Stride Rite Shoe Review

The Moo Shoes Vegetarian Shoes Review

I have been a Vegan for a good long while now, and one of the hardest things to get sustainably right as you start down the path of cruelty-free living is landing in proper non-leather shoes.  Enter Moo Shoes, your one-stop-shop for Vegan belts and boots and shoes and bags and such and it is located right in the heart of New York City.

Continue reading → The Moo Shoes Vegetarian Shoes Review

Is It Worth a Search If Nothing Is Ever Found?

In the world of sales, if a sales person were to make one hundred thousand calls and were unable to make even a single sale, that person would undoubtedly be fired. Similarly, if a group of scientists were trying to prove that a certain sort of amoeba existed in a particular environment and searched in one hundred thousand different locations and found no amoeba, it would make sense to conclude that the amoeba was not going to likely be found in that environment.

Continue reading → Is It Worth a Search If Nothing Is Ever Found?

Semiotic Shoe on a Roof

As technology progresses, so too, must the criminal element.  In a previous article — Shoes on a Wire — we learned that in the urban core, shoes hanging on a wire can indicate the house below sells drugs.  As cities “urbanize” neighborhoods, and the “wire utilities” are taken underground instead of up in the air, the “Shoes on a Wire” semiotic is rendered memeingless.  The new semiotic for selling drugs, according the Vice Cops on Spike TVHD, is “a single shoe” tossed on a roof as exampled in the generic image below.

Continue reading → Semiotic Shoe on a Roof