This post was originally titled, The Why I Do Not Comment On Other Blogs Manifesto, but it seemed a little precious and pretentious — and I try to save all my pretension and preciousness for the content of my posts and not waste them on the title — so I chose to call this post I am My Own Whore because it has a puckish ring of the ugly truth.

In my post Please Adjust your RSS Feeds, my fellow bloggers and I discussed a discussion that I have had at least 10 times here in the last month and in email and on other blogs when I am asked, sometimes in a roundabout way, but usually in a direct manner: Why don’t you post comments on my blog?

Here’s how I answered that question the other day:

I have so many pals on the web that if I comment one place regularly but not another I have heck to pay! Staying here and minding my own business gets me just as much flak but at least my discrimination is equal across the board so no one can claim I am playing favorites.

I realize in an opposite view generally taken in comments on my post, Etiquette of Blogroll Reciprocity, there is an expectation that if someone comments on your blog you are required to go to their blog and comment on something they’ve written.

I understand that concept, but when I have tried that in the past, I have forgotten to go back and comment on the comment left on my comment and that ticks off the blog owner and other commenters just as much as never visiting to post a comment in the first place. It’s a no-win situation. So I actively choose to instead focus here on this blog and reply to every comment to try to create an ongoing discussion. I have never understood blog owners who want comments but then never respond to their commenters.

I think that’s a bigger blogging breach of faith than not commenting on other blogs. That philosophy does not please some bloggers and they go on to accuse me of elitism or of trying to be Special, but it’s really quite the opposite. Have you read my personality indictment? I’m lucky I make it out of the house once-a-day to interact with real people! Extroverting out there in the Wild Web of Viruses and The Blog Flu and elbowing through The Blogspot Throng is daunting and invokes forgetfulness.

If I stay right here, introverted and self-pleasing, I can better serve my commenters without worrying about where I’ve gone and what DNA I may have left behind and who I may have inadvertently insulted elsewhere.

And the best way to get me to your blog is to talk about me or link here and talk about something here because no one can complain that I’m taking part in a conversation where my name or blog or whatever comes up! I am a whore for my own name!

Okay, so I confess to being my own Whore! If you let me know you’ve mentioned me on your blog in a positive — or at least neutral — way, or if you trackback here so a friendly post link appears in WordPress, I will try to Extrovert away from here to visit over there with a comment or two.

Some may call that selfish and self-loving, but isn’t that the impulse that gets us all blogging toward Passion and Magnitude manna in the first place? Now when I’m asked why I don’t comment on other blogs (much), I’ll just dial up the URL for this post and be done with it: There are unborn pretentious posts in need of creating!

37 Comments

  1. If someone new is gracious enough to leave a comment on my blog, I first respond to his/her comment like the considerate blogger that I am, and then I check his/her site out. If I feel inclined, I leave a comment.
    Everyone has his/her own way of blogging. I like to leave comments on the sites I regularly visit, but I don’t leave a comment for every single entry. Even you, David, have some posts that I don’t comment on. Of course, I make up for that with all the other ones! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Then again, I don’t have the readership that you have!

  2. Carla that is pretty much how I do it too. I have a good handful of blogs I post to mostly everyday if I can and then are all in my Google Reader anyway.
    Somehow David though I think you made your own blogging rules because most people wouldn’t have nearly as many posters as you if they didn’t reciprocate the blogging as well. With any other blog I go to if I post there and they never post on my blog most of the time I will give up blogging at their place…I guess you David are the exception. I do believe you’ve changed the rules by responding to every single post on your blog and I think that is pretty cool.

  3. Frank — Okay, you got the job!
    Carla — I always give myself a good deal. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Dave — Oh, my! It’s so complicated! The รขโ‚ฌล“hereรขโ‚ฌย the รขโ‚ฌล“there!รขโ‚ฌย You made my head ache! I think I’ve been infected with something! :mrgreen:
    Fellow Blogger — Poking is always encouraged. ๐Ÿ˜Ž
    Carla — I read a lot of blogs every day. I sometimes comment on the technical blogs to share a solution or to ask a question or to pile on to help get a problem fixed. ๐Ÿ™‚ I agree everyone has their own style and I absolutely respect people’s time and their choices.
    Fellow Blogger, Part II — We thank you for understanding!

  4. Oops ๐Ÿ˜ณ
    I’m so sorry!!!!!
    Although, I work at a company that does newsletters, and on calendars (which we’re doing December right now) we always spell it Hanukkah. I’ll complain for ya! ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. That’s how I see it spelled everywhere in America which is annoying to those of us who know better. I guess it’s the “American” spelling of Chanukah. I went to Jewish private school for 7 looooong years so I’m probably a bit of a Hebrew Snob.
    So I guess I have 3 different blogging personalities now.

  6. Robin/Carla/Robin/Carla: No comment! :mrgreen:
    Dave — Heh! I understand about being busy and inspired. Thanks for the feedback on the site speed. It is much faster. Media Temple won’t fix the MPEG4 problem for me. They provide MPEG4 streaming on their shared sites, but not their Virtual Dedicated sites so Iรขโ‚ฌโ„ขm all on my own: A Newbie without a neck in the woods. So I’m a bit stuck, but looking to get unstuck! ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. I myself, just read a very few blogs, I get here to your site quite often, like the other few that I read, I hardly ever leave a comment, if I do it is because what has been said has touched something within me.
    I have a blog, but I feel assured for many people it would not be interesting, but that’s ok. If someone visits and makes no comment, it bothers me not. I just do not feel that anyone is obligated to make a comment on my blog because I commented on theirs. But I will say if someone comments I will go take a look at their blog to see what they have to say, but I may well never go back.
    My ventures into the outside world are few as well since I was disabled in 2002, so many of my contacts with people are because of the computer world. Thank God for it.
    My blog is entitled Life Without Mother, for I lost her at 20 months of age in a house fire, some of what I will say will be related to that, but also the most important thing in my life will come out on it as well, that being about my Savior Jesus and our Father in heaven.
    Hopefully maybe someone will come across it who is going down such a road as I did when I was young and it might help them just a bit with their life struggle without mother. And that is rightly the only reason I started it.
    May God Bless,
    Jerry

  8. Jerry —
    Thank you for your wonderful and touching comment and for bringing this discussion back to a solid and resolute base. Sometimes we get carried away here with silliness and you have set me back on the proper path. For a moment. ๐Ÿ˜€
    I appreciate knowing you are here even though you may not speak up. You are right the web provides a more even ground for interaction and communication for the disabled.
    Your blog is quite touching. I fixed the URL — you are calling up a /private/ URL when you posted your comment — so for the rest of us it should read:
    http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Jerry80871852
    for a direct connection with you. ๐Ÿ™‚
    I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mother and I feel the power of your grounding faith. I appreciate your inspiration and light.

  9. David, your welcome, and thanks for the reply. The way I see it, what one may write may interest me, but what I write may not interest them.
    That should not be no big deal for anyone, unless they be one who has little self confidence and a need of having an ego trip and praise.
    I learned a lesson in my early life that did not register with me till I was maybe in my 30’s from my father, he’s my step father I suppose, but I only think of him as my real father. Haven’t rightly gave much though on it till just now. Think I will try to put together something on it right now if I can.
    I feel a bit weak at the moment, pneumonia got a big grip on me last Thursday evening with a fever of 104.7 . After the stay in the hospital thru noon Monday, its left me without much energy.
    Keep it up, I enjoy reading what you have to say, even though sometimes I do disagree. But thanks to America and Americas way, we can disagree and still be friend. Least some of us can.
    Oh, I think what may intrigue me the most is, that you are of the big city, me, I’m from the rural country side of Arkansas. Your blog gives me a bit of insight to a life I know nothing about. I think that would be good for many of us in America to explore.
    May God Bless,
    Jerry

  10. Hi Jerry!
    I like your philosophy. Just because one post may offend someone doesn’t mean the next one will. ๐Ÿ™‚ There’s no reason to scratch off an entire experience for one narrow reason.
    I’m sorry to hear you are feeling weak from an illness! I hope you will feel better soon.
    I was born and raised in small-town Nebraska, so the Big City things I share here are just as surprising and shocking me to as to you. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Be Well, my friend!

  11. Hi David, I enjoyed reading about leaving comments…I am new to blogging and feel like my blog just goes un-notice and confess I hope for a comment. My last post goes like this:
    Do you know this song by Randy Newman?
    Political Science
    No one Blogs Me,
    I don’t know why,
    I try my best, but you all pass me by.
    I give you games and pics to view,
    just leave a comment,
    and see what happens…
    I would link back to you if I knew how.
    Sincerely,
    George G

  12. George —
    It’s a pleasure to meet you and I am thrilled to welcome you here. Getting comments is tricky and it can take some time to build up a readership. Don’t give up. Keep writing every day. New content draws people and search spiders to you.
    I don’t know that song but it is quite good!
    I see you’re on Blogger. I don’t know how to help you set up a link here but perhaps someone else reading this will be able to help you.
    Thanks for popping over here!

  13. “unless they be one who has little self confidence and a need of having an ego trip and praise.”
    ^^ I’m probably one of those people. I get all sad when a week goes by on my blog, with over 200 unique visits and no one comments. ๐Ÿ˜›
    But at least I have no illusions. It isn’t ego with me though, its the former reason. I’m the girl who constantly runs around the feet of people, like a puppy, trying to do cute stuff to get noticed and a pat on the head.
    On the subject though I always try and go visit a commenter’s blog. I may comment back, I may not. Usually I like what I find. I’ll bookmark it. If I find the content is what I like to go back to after a while, I’ll add a link. I don’t expect recriprocation.

  14. Hey Beltane!
    That’s a blunt confession and evaluation: Well done! Few people on the web are so self-aware and open about their motives and wishes. Thanks for sharing your reciprocity philosophy — that is always a fascinating read.

  15. It is interesting how you people distribute your thoughts getting positive or negative critique from others through blogs ^^ (new to blogging obviously). I like this blog I think… Is it easy and effective for you to see if you get new posts or comments from people that reply? Is that another reason why you prefer your own blogging community or is answering to everything/everyone just to much?
    Must be alot of work updating and changing on your personal blogs contents etc~ how do you people put up with it

  16. Sry I tend to narrow myself down, that is how I was raised or influenced by others I think. Of course I like this blog but it is a little scary I have looked around just a little and it is almost scary how incisive some INTJ’s can be (No offense, I know I am especially with people I don’t know or see through objectively) It takes a while to get to know people I know that and I have learned that I must change and adapt for the occation. I look forward to learning and reading alot more about myself and others (hopefully) this psychology thing is kind of new to me to and there’s alot of familiar but still new stuff and experiences, people that I can relate too (that’s something new :D) There is definitely alot to digest since I discovered this place today….
    Please don’t shop me up Hannibal lector style* –>(x.x ) *lame childish attempt jk xD