In a recent Vanity Fair article — Why Women Aren’t Funny — author Christopher Hitchens explains why men are funnier than women: They had better be if they wish to survive. Hitchens evolutionarily argues men posses a genetic need to be funny in order to deal with their inadequacy in creating life. They cannot bear children, so they become jesters who are forced to entertain the Woman/God into opening up and allowing them consideration in fatherhood and the opportunity to deposit their humor for fertilization and propagation.

Hitchens writes:

Why are men, taken on average and as a whole, funnier than women? Well, for one thing, they had damn well better be. The chief task in life that a man has to perform is that of impressing the opposite sex, and Mother Nature (as we laughingly call her) is not so kind to men. In fact, she equips many fellows with very little armament for the struggle.An average man has just one, outside chance: he had better be able to make the lady laugh. Making them laugh has been one of the crucial preoccupations of my life. If you can stimulate her to laughter–I am talking about that real, out-loud, head-back, mouth-open-to-expose-the-full-horseshoe-of-lovely-teeth, involuntary, full, and deep-throated mirth; the kind that is accompanied by a shocked surprise and a slight (no, make that a loud) peal of delight–well, then, you have at least caused her to loosen up and to change her expression. Women have no corresponding need to appeal to men in this way. They already appeal to men, if you catch my drift.

I know a lot of men who live to make women laugh with bad jokes and horrible sexual innuendo. Their sense of humor rarely matches that of the women they are trying to impress and I have always wondered why they bother so hard to bother every woman they meet with their childish humor.

I’m beginning to understand those men need to be accepted and loved and made worthy by plucking a titter from a woman. More than a kiss or a quick toss in the hay, a woman can most effectively approve a man’s manliness with a smile and a chuckle: Get her to laugh and she’ll have your baby. If you are male — are you aware of your need to entertain women with your dull wit and lousy sense of what really isn’t funny?

If you are female — how to you feel about the Male Humor Assault aimed at you each day? Do you withhold your laughter or do you freely provide funny bone approval? Will you laugh at a joke you don’t think is funny just to be polite? If so, do you realize the peril you are pursuing with your giggling?

If you are female and you laugh a lot — out of either kindness or pity
— do you find those Desperate Man Hounds For Laughter come at you even harder with their “sense of humor” than if you’d instead brushed them off with a cold shoulder and a scowl?

136 Comments

  1. I personally think a good sense of humour is vital for us all – male or female.
    I use it as a bench mark/filtering mechanism – what they laugh at and why can be a good indicator of the man behind the joke. If their sense of humour belittles and mocks others or makes them feel good at another’s expense is a NO NO.
    I wouldn’t go as far as Christopher Hitchens does – it is not the only thing we look for – part of the package maybe but not the whole package.

  2. Hi Nicola —
    I agree a sense of humor can indicate intelligence but when humor is used to woo and entice a woman, you begin to see the other side of the funny bone that can be controlling and oppressive if one is not aware of the implications of providing a laugh.
    Have you ever laughed at a manโ€™s joke just to be polite?

  3. Welcome to Urban Semiotic, Doug!
    It’s funny that Wikipedia find him “witty” —

    Hitchens is known for his iconoclasm, anti-clericalism, atheism, antitheism, anti-fascism and anti-monarchism. He is also noted for his acerbic wit and his noisy departure from the Anglo-American political left. He was formerly a Trotskyist and a fixture in the left wing publications of Britain and America. But a series of disagreements beginning in the early 1990s led to his resignation from The Nation shortly after the September 11, 2001, attacks.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Hitchens
    Hitchens has two children โ€“- so I guess he found success in humor somewhere! ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. ‘Sense of humour’ is a very interesting thing…
    The more subtle one can be – the more effective it is. If someone has to try hard to make others laugh then they are not funny – they are clown!

  5. ‘Sense of humour’ is a very interesting thing…
    The more subtle one can be – the more effective it is. If someone has to try hard to make others laugh then they are not funny – they are clown!

  6. Katha!
    I agree a wry sense of humor is better than an obnoxious one.
    Do you notice a difference between what is funny between India and America? What’s funny in India that doesn’t get laughs in the USA?
    Do Indian men use humor in the same way American men do to unwittingly woo women?

  7. Katha!
    I agree a wry sense of humor is better than an obnoxious one.
    Do you notice a difference between what is funny between India and America? What’s funny in India that doesn’t get laughs in the USA?
    Do Indian men use humor in the same way American men do to unwittingly woo women?

  8. This same theory has been promoted by guys who say they’ve found the secrets to winning the hearts of women. If you look closely at their “formulas for success with women,” a key is to be confident and have a sense of humor.

  9. This same theory has been promoted by guys who say they’ve found the secrets to winning the hearts of women. If you look closely at their “formulas for success with women,” a key is to be confident and have a sense of humor.

  10. David,
    ‘Wooing a girl’ is a completely different scenario in India. There is no concept of using ‘a funny punch line’ to show romantic interest or to charm someone at the very first instance, otherwise one might be beaten up and hospitalized.
    ‘Humour’ in a social gathering is normally used in a very refined way without a streak of sexuality.
    The Bengali (The region I come from) literature is famous for self irony and humor literature, it’s too bad that there is no effective translation that can convey the message to the world. It’s extremely difficult, too.
    I remember, after completing an unsatisfactory term test I told one of my class mate –
    “I think I have successfully flunked for the first time in my life – lets celebrate!”
    He thought I was serious and asked me – “How do you know? You didn’t get the paper back yet!”
    I didn’t perform to the level of my satisfaction, definitely didn’t flunk – but I falied to convey the message.
    If I would have done that bad I couldn’t make fun of the situation or myself.

  11. David,
    ‘Wooing a girl’ is a completely different scenario in India. There is no concept of using ‘a funny punch line’ to show romantic interest or to charm someone at the very first instance, otherwise one might be beaten up and hospitalized.
    ‘Humour’ in a social gathering is normally used in a very refined way without a streak of sexuality.
    The Bengali (The region I come from) literature is famous for self irony and humor literature, it’s too bad that there is no effective translation that can convey the message to the world. It’s extremely difficult, too.
    I remember, after completing an unsatisfactory term test I told one of my class mate –
    “I think I have successfully flunked for the first time in my life – lets celebrate!”
    He thought I was serious and asked me – “How do you know? You didn’t get the paper back yet!”
    I didn’t perform to the level of my satisfaction, definitely didn’t flunk – but I falied to convey the message.
    If I would have done that bad I couldn’t make fun of the situation or myself.

  12. Hi David,
    To reduce everything to a formula — if you are funny, you get the woman — removes all of the other things that are required to make a good relationship. Part of it is chemistry in the initial stages and humor is part of that. Another part is the willingness to move beyond oneself and to give in order to make a strong loving relationship.
    It’s interesting to note Hitchins’ observations regarding America’s funny women:

    In any case, my argument doesn’t say that there are no decent women comedians. There are more terrible female comedians than there are terrible male comedians, but there are some impressive ladies out there. Most of them, though, when you come to review the situation, are hefty or dykey or Jewish, or some combo of the three. When Roseanne stands up and tells biker jokes and invites people who don’t dig her shtick to suck her d*ckโ€”know what I am saying? And the Sapphic faction may have its own reasons for wanting what I wantโ€”the sweet surrender of female laughter. While Jewish humor, boiling as it is with angst and self-deprecation, is almost masculine by definition.

    Does this mean that while female comics can be burning “hot” — think of Sarah Silverman — they aren’t “hot” in a feminine way?

  13. Hi David,
    To reduce everything to a formula — if you are funny, you get the woman — removes all of the other things that are required to make a good relationship. Part of it is chemistry in the initial stages and humor is part of that. Another part is the willingness to move beyond oneself and to give in order to make a strong loving relationship.
    It’s interesting to note Hitchins’ observations regarding America’s funny women:

    In any case, my argument doesn’t say that there are no decent women comedians. There are more terrible female comedians than there are terrible male comedians, but there are some impressive ladies out there. Most of them, though, when you come to review the situation, are hefty or dykey or Jewish, or some combo of the three. When Roseanne stands up and tells biker jokes and invites people who don’t dig her shtick to suck her d*ckโ€”know what I am saying? And the Sapphic faction may have its own reasons for wanting what I wantโ€”the sweet surrender of female laughter. While Jewish humor, boiling as it is with angst and self-deprecation, is almost masculine by definition.

    Does this mean that while female comics can be burning “hot” — think of Sarah Silverman — they aren’t “hot” in a feminine way?

  14. Hi Chris!
    I’m so glad you read the whole Hitchens article. It is wide-ranging and a highly argumentative search on several levels and I always enjoy that kind of wild genius.
    I never found Sarah Silverman funny in any way. I always felt she was trying too hard to be funny. Now Joan Rivers and Kathy Griffin always make me laugh, but none of those three are “hot” in the traditional sexual sense.

  15. Hi Chris!
    I’m so glad you read the whole Hitchens article. It is wide-ranging and a highly argumentative search on several levels and I always enjoy that kind of wild genius.
    I never found Sarah Silverman funny in any way. I always felt she was trying too hard to be funny. Now Joan Rivers and Kathy Griffin always make me laugh, but none of those three are “hot” in the traditional sexual sense.

  16. Had to think about your question for a while – Both my male and female friends can and do make me laugh but in different ways – rather than one group more than the other.
    I am not a fan of many of the stand-up comediennes though – I prefer more subtlety in my humour.

  17. Had to think about your question for a while – Both my male and female friends can and do make me laugh but in different ways – rather than one group more than the other.
    I am not a fan of many of the stand-up comediennes though – I prefer more subtlety in my humour.

  18. For humor to be funny, we have to be able to relate to it in some way. I wonder what is says about me that I thought Beavis and Butthead was sublime. ๐Ÿ™‚
    But, to steal a quote from Roe Conn, when I think of Rosie O’Donell I always ask “Where’s the Funny?” Enough people love her enough to keep her rich and on daily television.
    I wonder if we as guys sometimes try to woo women with jokes that just aren’t targeted to the right audience and when we fail declare they are humor impaired?

  19. For humor to be funny, we have to be able to relate to it in some way. I wonder what is says about me that I thought Beavis and Butthead was sublime. ๐Ÿ™‚
    But, to steal a quote from Roe Conn, when I think of Rosie O’Donell I always ask “Where’s the Funny?” Enough people love her enough to keep her rich and on daily television.
    I wonder if we as guys sometimes try to woo women with jokes that just aren’t targeted to the right audience and when we fail declare they are humor impaired?

  20. First, to address something earlier in the comments, I also do not find Sarah Silverman very funny, but I do find her fearless. She will say or do anything, such as sleeping with “God” in her latest show episode. That fearlessness is a genre that does appeal to some, just not me. Another that I would put in that category would be Dane Cook. I find him less funny than fearless and confrontational in his words.
    But on to the main subject, you wrote this in your post,
    “I have always wondered why they bother so hard to bother every woman they meet with their childish humor.”
    Just speculating on that point, it may be a filtering of sorts. I would not have thought that way before I started making a good portion of my living at humor (well, humor to some), but now I see things differently.
    If I were to look at the feedback I generate from my show, I could easlily get depressed. The ratio of the “your show is great” feedback to the the “you should stop now and just dissapear” feedback is tilted towards the latter. Heavily to the latter.
    I however choose to look at it in the “throw you-know-what against the wall and see what stick” sense. Let’s say that only 1 out of 5 people like what I do, I then have to reach enough groups of five to find enough “one’s” to make my show a success.
    In dating and social situations it is probably the same thing. Four out of five people may think someone’s jokes are lame, the key is finding the one that does not. That would probably hold true in other aspects of attracting possitive attention from someone you would like to build a relationship with as well, be it build, looks, hair color, beliefs, or even political affiliation. (unless you happen to be James Carville and Mary Matalin)
    Add to the mix that dating, or even meeting new people tends to leave one very vulnerable. Joking tends to be an accepted way to try to deal with tense and vulnerable situations.
    It is probably best to think of it like this if you are faced with someone trying to catch your attention with what seems to you to be a lame joke. You are just one of the four, not the one.

  21. First, to address something earlier in the comments, I also do not find Sarah Silverman very funny, but I do find her fearless. She will say or do anything, such as sleeping with “God” in her latest show episode. That fearlessness is a genre that does appeal to some, just not me. Another that I would put in that category would be Dane Cook. I find him less funny than fearless and confrontational in his words.
    But on to the main subject, you wrote this in your post,
    “I have always wondered why they bother so hard to bother every woman they meet with their childish humor.”
    Just speculating on that point, it may be a filtering of sorts. I would not have thought that way before I started making a good portion of my living at humor (well, humor to some), but now I see things differently.
    If I were to look at the feedback I generate from my show, I could easlily get depressed. The ratio of the “your show is great” feedback to the the “you should stop now and just dissapear” feedback is tilted towards the latter. Heavily to the latter.
    I however choose to look at it in the “throw you-know-what against the wall and see what stick” sense. Let’s say that only 1 out of 5 people like what I do, I then have to reach enough groups of five to find enough “one’s” to make my show a success.
    In dating and social situations it is probably the same thing. Four out of five people may think someone’s jokes are lame, the key is finding the one that does not. That would probably hold true in other aspects of attracting possitive attention from someone you would like to build a relationship with as well, be it build, looks, hair color, beliefs, or even political affiliation. (unless you happen to be James Carville and Mary Matalin)
    Add to the mix that dating, or even meeting new people tends to leave one very vulnerable. Joking tends to be an accepted way to try to deal with tense and vulnerable situations.
    It is probably best to think of it like this if you are faced with someone trying to catch your attention with what seems to you to be a lame joke. You are just one of the four, not the one.

  22. Chris!
    Yes, Akismet caught you! You should report that via Feedback in your dashboard.wordpress.com interface.
    You make some excellent points. I think men share with women what they think is funny and don’t put much effort into what they think the woman finds funny. Finding a universal sense of humor is a pretty hard thing to master. Has any professional comedian ever done it?

  23. Chris!
    Yes, Akismet caught you! You should report that via Feedback in your dashboard.wordpress.com interface.
    You make some excellent points. I think men share with women what they think is funny and don’t put much effort into what they think the woman finds funny. Finding a universal sense of humor is a pretty hard thing to master. Has any professional comedian ever done it?

  24. Hi Eban!
    It’s super to have you with us!
    You’re right about trying until you hit something — but it seems to waste a lot of energy in that process. If you’re producing a show, then the production values and ideas are yours and people will either accept what your propose or not.
    However, when you then take that production and point it at a woman in a bar or on the street or in the workplace — it sometimes can seem like overkill for the meager results expected. It appears like it might be a better attack for men to hold their humor — and aggressive tendencies for survival — until some sort of expression from the woman is broadcast indicating interest first. Then the guy can fire his first punch line.

  25. Hi Eban!
    It’s super to have you with us!
    You’re right about trying until you hit something — but it seems to waste a lot of energy in that process. If you’re producing a show, then the production values and ideas are yours and people will either accept what your propose or not.
    However, when you then take that production and point it at a woman in a bar or on the street or in the workplace — it sometimes can seem like overkill for the meager results expected. It appears like it might be a better attack for men to hold their humor — and aggressive tendencies for survival — until some sort of expression from the woman is broadcast indicating interest first. Then the guy can fire his first punch line.

  26. I am actually in full agreement with you on the use of humor in the setting of trying to attract people. It is probably a great waste of energy, and probably a front for the real person that you are, which more people would probably like. I was just musing on the theme.
    I have been married for 17 years so I have been out of the “game” for quite some time. I sometimes wish my single friends would take me out on the prowl however. It would probably be a great experience to watch just how socially backwards some people become in the dating world as opposed to those that operate smoothly in that scenario. It would be even more fun to try an spot those with a front and those projecting their true self.
    People watching can be fun.
    I figure the reason I don’t get the invites is more that my friends realize I would turn the evening into a social study experiment than the fact that I am firmly hitched and happily married.

  27. I am actually in full agreement with you on the use of humor in the setting of trying to attract people. It is probably a great waste of energy, and probably a front for the real person that you are, which more people would probably like. I was just musing on the theme.
    I have been married for 17 years so I have been out of the “game” for quite some time. I sometimes wish my single friends would take me out on the prowl however. It would probably be a great experience to watch just how socially backwards some people become in the dating world as opposed to those that operate smoothly in that scenario. It would be even more fun to try an spot those with a front and those projecting their true self.
    People watching can be fun.
    I figure the reason I don’t get the invites is more that my friends realize I would turn the evening into a social study experiment than the fact that I am firmly hitched and happily married.

  28. Hi Chris!
    Akismet feedback does great good as long as you provide the URL to the problem comment. You should hear back from Mark soon that the problem is fixed or being investigated. They don’t know what is getting caught as False Positives unless we let them know.

  29. Hi Chris!
    Akismet feedback does great good as long as you provide the URL to the problem comment. You should hear back from Mark soon that the problem is fixed or being investigated. They don’t know what is getting caught as False Positives unless we let them know.

  30. David,
    I believe that funny women are rare and funny men are not. When a single female friend of mine talks about a date she recently had and she mentions that the man was “funny,” she does not act surprised that she has found a man with a sense of humor. However, my single male friends are always surprised–happily, I might add–to find a woman with a sense of humor.
    The reason funny women are few and far-between is simple and clearly stated by Mr. Hitchens: we don’t have to be. We’ve got what you men want and it’s not a sense of humor. :mrgreen:
    As far as pity laughs go, I cannot recall a situation where I gave one on purpose. I do laugh constantly, sometimes at jokes no one else finds funny, because I’m easily tickled. So others may think I am giving a pity laugh, when really I am just easily amused.

  31. Emily!
    I agree women with a keen sense of humor that they can call up in an instant are, indeed, a rare breed.
    When you said:

    Weโ€™ve got what you men want and itโ€™s not a sense of humor. :mrgreen:

    I am not sure what you mean and I’m not being funny.
    Can you please explain using diagrams and pictures and raunchy language?
    Video would be helpful, too.
    How do you handle men who ply you with punch lines to try to hook you?

  32. HA! David! You know exactly what I mean and I’m not falling for that diagrams/pictures/raunchy language/video request again! In the words of our great President, “Fool me once, shame on–shame on you. Fool me–you can’t get fooled again!” ๐Ÿ˜€
    Punch lines don’t work with me, bottom line. I like a man whose sense of humor is natural and unassuming and part of their intrinsic personality, not a tool they use to separate me from my drawers.
    But I guess that is precisely what Hitchens claims any man’s sense of humor has been developed for. I don’t know if I agree with him there. At least, I hope I don’t.

  33. Hi David,
    This is my Akismet test ๐Ÿ™‚
    Here’s a place where you can find the charts and diagrams that show how to foster a laugh or other social interaction that will result in procreation.
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction_Community
    Some of these guys use “canned” lines designed to awe and impress the objects of their desires.
    Here’s the equation: 3 hours + 80 dancing people (51 of them single women) + 5 beers + 6.2 funny lines per hour (canned or improvised) = increased potential for social interaction that might lead to getting a phone number that isn’t fake. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I’m glad I’m married. ๐Ÿ™‚

  34. It looks like your test worked, Chris, though your Wiki URL didn’t get taken live.
    Loved that link, and it reminded me of the book, “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists” that I think we’ve discussed here before. Here’s the Amazon blurp:

    Are you just another AFC (“average frustrated chump”) trying to meet an HB (“hot babe”)? How would you like to “full-close” with a Penthouse Pet of the Year? The answers, my friend, are in Neil Strauss’s entertaining book The Game. Strauss was a self-described chick repellant–complete with large, bumpy nose, small, beady eyes, glasses, balding head, and, worst of all, painful shyness around women. He felt like “half a man.” That is, until a book editor asked him to investigate the community of pickup artists. Strauss’s life was transformed. He spent two years bedding some fine chiquitas and studying with some of the North America’s most suave gents–including the best of them all, the God of the pickup “community,” a man named Mystery.
    Mystery is an aspiring Toronto magician who charges $2,250 for a weekend pickup workshop. He is not much to look at: a cross between a vampire and a computer geek. But by using high-powered marketing techniques he’s turned seduction into an effortless craft–even inventing his own vocabulary. His technique sounds like a car salesman’s tip sheet: his main rule is FMAC–find, meet, attract, close. He employs the “three-second rule”–always approach a woman within three seconds of first seeing her in order to avoid getting shy. Other tricks: Intrigue a beautiful woman by pretending to be unaffected by her charm; also, never hit on a woman right away. Start with a disarming, innocent remark, like “Do you think magic spells work?” or “Oh my god, did you see those two girls fighting outside?” And finally, the most important characteristic of the pickup artist–smile.

    My mother used to date a guy who would tell Knock, Knock jokes all day long and he wouldn’t stop until you laughed three times. It was torturous to be around him!

  35. It looks like your test worked, Chris, though your Wiki URL didn’t get taken live.
    Loved that link, and it reminded me of the book, “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists” that I think we’ve discussed here before. Here’s the Amazon blurp:

    Are you just another AFC (“average frustrated chump”) trying to meet an HB (“hot babe”)? How would you like to “full-close” with a Penthouse Pet of the Year? The answers, my friend, are in Neil Strauss’s entertaining book The Game. Strauss was a self-described chick repellant–complete with large, bumpy nose, small, beady eyes, glasses, balding head, and, worst of all, painful shyness around women. He felt like “half a man.” That is, until a book editor asked him to investigate the community of pickup artists. Strauss’s life was transformed. He spent two years bedding some fine chiquitas and studying with some of the North America’s most suave gents–including the best of them all, the God of the pickup “community,” a man named Mystery.
    Mystery is an aspiring Toronto magician who charges $2,250 for a weekend pickup workshop. He is not much to look at: a cross between a vampire and a computer geek. But by using high-powered marketing techniques he’s turned seduction into an effortless craft–even inventing his own vocabulary. His technique sounds like a car salesman’s tip sheet: his main rule is FMAC–find, meet, attract, close. He employs the “three-second rule”–always approach a woman within three seconds of first seeing her in order to avoid getting shy. Other tricks: Intrigue a beautiful woman by pretending to be unaffected by her charm; also, never hit on a woman right away. Start with a disarming, innocent remark, like “Do you think magic spells work?” or “Oh my god, did you see those two girls fighting outside?” And finally, the most important characteristic of the pickup artist–smile.

    My mother used to date a guy who would tell Knock, Knock jokes all day long and he wouldn’t stop until you laughed three times. It was torturous to be around him!

  36. It isn’t really a tactic, Emily, I use humor as often as I can. I kid around a lot. I say silly things that people take seriously. Others tell me you can always find the classroom I’m teaching in by following the laughter. The world is too serious and hard and humor can bring some softness to that reality. Some people wonder if I’m joking or serious or angry and I tell them, “There will be no doubt when I’m angry.” ๐Ÿ˜€

  37. It isn’t really a tactic, Emily, I use humor as often as I can. I kid around a lot. I say silly things that people take seriously. Others tell me you can always find the classroom I’m teaching in by following the laughter. The world is too serious and hard and humor can bring some softness to that reality. Some people wonder if I’m joking or serious or angry and I tell them, “There will be no doubt when I’m angry.” ๐Ÿ˜€

  38. Hi Chris!
    I’m glad your Akismet nag got straightened out! Let’s hope it sticks!
    Yes, I got The Game! I don’t know where it is at the moment. It was a fascinating read.
    Knock-Knock jokes should be reserved to those aged five and under — and mental age doesn’t count, birth certificates are required!

  39. Hi Chris!
    I’m glad your Akismet nag got straightened out! Let’s hope it sticks!
    Yes, I got The Game! I don’t know where it is at the moment. It was a fascinating read.
    Knock-Knock jokes should be reserved to those aged five and under — and mental age doesn’t count, birth certificates are required!

  40. I find that the key to a woman’s heart is through her teeth (smile). If you can get her to open her mouth widely and jiggle her stuff with a belly laugh, you are in there dude. But of course, the key to charm is actually wit.
    Stick to that and women will adore you.
    Men are funny by nature because they are more aggressive than (most) women. For instance, men usually instigate initial conversations which lead to a date. Rarely does a woman ask a man out. Women are listeners.
    But I would say that a good way to judge if someone is funny is if they can make women laugh. Men will laugh at the most retarded things like farts.

  41. I find that the key to a woman’s heart is through her teeth (smile). If you can get her to open her mouth widely and jiggle her stuff with a belly laugh, you are in there dude. But of course, the key to charm is actually wit.
    Stick to that and women will adore you.
    Men are funny by nature because they are more aggressive than (most) women. For instance, men usually instigate initial conversations which lead to a date. Rarely does a woman ask a man out. Women are listeners.
    But I would say that a good way to judge if someone is funny is if they can make women laugh. Men will laugh at the most retarded things like farts.

  42. Hi David!
    I can say, with very little hesitation, or malice to the woman that I love so dearly after 17 years, that the state of the dating scene is one of the reasons that I am happy that I am in a very loving and commited relationship. It is not that I would ever consider leaving Faith, it is just that I am so glad that I don’t have to deal with being humorous, or attractive, or any of the other things that are needed to deal with the dating world. ( I do have to work on keeping things fresh and new in our relationship, however, which is fun)
    As I age, I no longer go out as much as I used to, as I stated in my previous comment. I cramp the style of my single friends. But when I did, being married, I attracted a lot of female attention. Not because I played single, ( I always wore my wedding ring), or because I was on the prowl, or because I was all that attractive. It was because I was the only person being myself, I was not being funny, not being macho, I was just not interested, and that apealed to cetrain ladies that were being constantly hit on by those trying to be funny, macho, attractive, or whatever. I was like a rest zone in the dating scene, while they where talking to me, nobody hit on them.
    I guess I was the anti-clown, lol.
    Still, I may be blessed, but I personally know many women that are very funny. So who knows?

  43. Hi David!
    I can say, with very little hesitation, or malice to the woman that I love so dearly after 17 years, that the state of the dating scene is one of the reasons that I am happy that I am in a very loving and commited relationship. It is not that I would ever consider leaving Faith, it is just that I am so glad that I don’t have to deal with being humorous, or attractive, or any of the other things that are needed to deal with the dating world. ( I do have to work on keeping things fresh and new in our relationship, however, which is fun)
    As I age, I no longer go out as much as I used to, as I stated in my previous comment. I cramp the style of my single friends. But when I did, being married, I attracted a lot of female attention. Not because I played single, ( I always wore my wedding ring), or because I was on the prowl, or because I was all that attractive. It was because I was the only person being myself, I was not being funny, not being macho, I was just not interested, and that apealed to cetrain ladies that were being constantly hit on by those trying to be funny, macho, attractive, or whatever. I was like a rest zone in the dating scene, while they where talking to me, nobody hit on them.
    I guess I was the anti-clown, lol.
    Still, I may be blessed, but I personally know many women that are very funny. So who knows?

  44. Excellent analysis, Brent, and I think you’re right on target. Men need to be funny. Women do not. Humor is a sophisticated and acquired taste and talent. To find someone who honestly likes to laugh with you is something rare and special.

  45. Excellent analysis, Brent, and I think you’re right on target. Men need to be funny. Women do not. Humor is a sophisticated and acquired taste and talent. To find someone who honestly likes to laugh with you is something rare and special.

  46. Super answer, Eban!
    I agree the dating scene is awful and I was never a part of it. Most of the women I have enjoyed spending a lot of time with over the years came to me and not me to them. I guess I preferred it that way because there was less work to do in needless wooing.
    I do think women are attracted to self-confidence and certain achievement.
    I know a lot of funny women as well — and I guess the great thing about that is, unlike men, they are free to be funny because it comes to them naturally.
    Men don’t care about laughing when it comes to dating or acceptance, so a funny woman is something rare and valuable because she’s doing it for herself and not in a sad attempt to propagate via getting a giggle. ๐Ÿ˜†

  47. Super answer, Eban!
    I agree the dating scene is awful and I was never a part of it. Most of the women I have enjoyed spending a lot of time with over the years came to me and not me to them. I guess I preferred it that way because there was less work to do in needless wooing.
    I do think women are attracted to self-confidence and certain achievement.
    I know a lot of funny women as well — and I guess the great thing about that is, unlike men, they are free to be funny because it comes to them naturally.
    Men don’t care about laughing when it comes to dating or acceptance, so a funny woman is something rare and valuable because she’s doing it for herself and not in a sad attempt to propagate via getting a giggle. ๐Ÿ˜†

  48. Nicola —
    You are trying to change the question with your answer but your answer is already subsumed by my question. Of course we’re all different! Knowing that fact, accepting it as part of the equation, do you think men or women are funnier?

  49. Nicola —
    You are trying to change the question with your answer but your answer is already subsumed by my question. Of course we’re all different! Knowing that fact, accepting it as part of the equation, do you think men or women are funnier?

  50. I don’t know exactly how to categorise their respective senses of humour… When you are intimate with women, they have a different sense of humour, a bit like the male sense of humour… But when you are not, it’s different… More restrained, but funny all the same.
    That is my experience with Indians. Dunno about the rest of the world.

  51. Holy cow.
    (Am I at the right place? Everyone is drooling…dripping…doing god knows what…!!!)
    David!
    From when som one started acknnowledging their web love just because the other person needs it?
    Watch Clive Owen in the BMW flims ‘The Hire’, directed by Ang Lee…
    http://www.murphsplace.com/owen/tv/bmw/hire.html
    No, ask Jana to watch it…then we will see!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  52. Katha,
    Owen’s character in the film ‘Closer’ can be quite despicable at times. I still could not help but drool all over the TV screen! And if he ever robbed my bank like he did in ‘Inside Man,’ I would definitely suggest he take me with him as a hostage!!!! :mrgreen:

  53. Emily!
    Right!!! “The Inside Man” – there you go!
    What about ‘The Children of Man?’
    I happened to watch Clive Owen in that said BMW movie – I fell in love with the person who owned that dvd…no, wait – I fell in love beforehand…I just acknowledged it!
    So I don’t think I need to ‘fight’ for Owen – he is all yours!!! Have fun!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  54. The original article seemed to be focussed on sociology of humor development. THe point is that the originating reason for humor is to diffuse tension. Unconsciously, we laugh with the authority figure to seem unthreatening, i.e., acknowledging the humorist’s authority. Therefore, when seducers pick up this dynamic, intentionally or not, they are attempting to put themselves in a situation of authority. If successful, rather than having any power, they have the attention of the target and the opportunity to be noticed for the qualities the target is seeking.
    There was a great Ann Landers letter in which the writer, a man, said he had solved the puzzle of what women want. He just regularly let him wife know that he loved her, and when she made a request he did it willingly. And in exchange she went out of her way to make him happy.
    I don’t know about other women, I am impressed by someone who does not necessarily tell jokes, but has a sense of humor and perspective about himself, the world (and all the terrible things that go on), and daily living situations. Someone who is respectful and attentive and appears to be listening to what I think. If you can hold out the possibility of making a woman feel understood, that is very impressive.
    And is not full of himself. A little humilty is a good thing. Sort of like John Cusak without the stimulants.

  55. Who cares what most women find funny? They are too Politically Correct for me and generally they rarely make me laugh. Being so PC just means that you lie about what you really think or are not bright enough to put what you think in a funny way. Almost all the best comedians are not PC at all and that’s why we enjoy them so much as they put some of our sentiments in a more palatable way.

    PC had it’s place at one time but those days should be numbered. My best friend is Portuguese and I have friends from all walks of life and we make fun of each other and most jibes have a strong sense of truth behind them. Because of all this we are supposed to always be worried about hurting someone’s feelings even if it is completely true. Grow up people and especially you ladies that have decided feelings are more important than truth and humour. What an absolute load of dingo’s kidneys and I for one am tired of having to play up to your own warped sense of morality.