On December 27, 2009, Domino’s Pizza threw out their old pizza recipe and, they claim, invented a whole new taste experience.  Yesterday, I suspending my eating morality for two seconds and took a bite of the “new and improved” Domino’s — cheese only — pizza to see just how much had changed with the iconic pizza of my childhood. 


The verdict for the new Domino’s recipe — shared by me and my five other friends — was:  “fail, Fail, FAIL!” 

The pizza tasted bitter.  The pizza tasted no different from the previous cardboard and shoelace recipe. 

We all felt duped by Domino’s for falling prey to a clever and cloying advertising campaign aimed to artificially increase short-term sales while selling the soul of the future pizza franchise.

The joke was definitely on us.

On the main page of the Domino’s website, there’s a guarantee you will love the reinvented pizza or you get your money back.  Okay.  Good idea.  Nice thought. 

However, there’s no clear way to collect on their guarantee!  So what’s a guarantee without a payout?  Another joke on us.

 

Domino’s is really media blitzing this new “turnaround” in their sauce, crust and cheese, but in the end, the taste is the same:  Awful, stiff, stale.

I’m not sure what Domino’s is trying to achieve with this sort of viral
infection of their pizza past by condemning what they did against what
they’ve done now, but when nothing changes and everything stays the same — you begin to think you’re the one who is going crazy — because Domino’s can’t be that debased and calloused to trick you into believing you’re tasting something new when you are not.  Or can they?  I guess they did.

We suggest Domino’s rename their campaign from “The Pizza Turnaround” to “Pizza Groundhog Day.”

8 Comments

  1. The real question is did they deliver on their promise for a refund? I would have demanded it had it tasted cardboardy! I haven’t had Domino’s since I was a kid and had, apparently, rubbish taste buds. A lot of things that I thought were the bee’s knees as a child are not as great to me now.

  2. I think I hate Dominos…it’s that simple.
    I pretty much survive on pizza while travelling and it’s always Pizza Hut, regardless the city I am in. I find Dominos pizza absolutely dry and sticky and tasteless and rubbery and so on…

  3. The taste test was not worth the break in my morality, Gordon. It was just so utterly disgusting. I guess I smelled the Snake Oil in it all and that’s why I made the break so I could reveal the truth in the article. Domino’s is so expensive and utterly tasteless. Their success is confounding!

  4. Ok so I tried it just to see what you were saying and now I can confirm how right you are. It’s just disgusting. They’ve given up. What a horrible taste it is.